Her Soldier
by AngelOnHeavenlyFire
Summary: Renesmee's relationship was perfect until her boyfriend enlisted in the marines and left. Two years later, Jake's back, living on a military base just outside of town. She's ready to keep moving forward with her life while he's tortured by his past. Will she be able to help him move on or will the past destroy them both?
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: The Twilight Saga characters and plot lines used in this story belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

Prologue: Sudden Departure

Renesmee Cullen sat on the roof of her grandfather's house. If her parents knew she was up there, they'd probably ground her for the rest of eternity, but at the moment she didn't care. All she cared about, all she thought about was him. She stared up at the stars as she pondered all that had happened between May and now. It was October. He'd been gone for three and a half months at this point.

He was never expected to leave, even if it was for a good cause. He was always supposed to be there for her, wasn't he? That's what he promised, right? Gazing at the big dipper she thought back to that first night…

 _I stared at him while he looked up into the heavens. The moonlight shadowed his dark skin perfectly, almost as if he was born to be under the full moon. I giggled at the thought. He probably was knowing the beast that laid beneath his human skin._

" _What's so funny?" his question brought me back to attention, and I blushed as I realized I'd been caught staring at him._

" _Nothing really. Just an observation I made."_

 _Leaning up on his elbow, he squinted his eyes as he gazed down at me. I felt my insides melt at the intense yet teasing look in his dark brown eyes. "Nothing, huh?" He raked a hand through his hair the same way he always did. "Then why are you so embarrassed?"_

 _Of course he noticed. Damn my mom for the annoying human half of me she contributed. I'd been noticing him in a different way recently, and I just couldn't get enough of him. I could watch him all day. My toes curled at the thought of the strong line of his jaw and the way his muscles rippled in his back and arms as he worked on cars. He was just so beautiful. And he always noticed me enjoying the view although I don't think he knows my feelings for him._

 _I frowned as I realized just how long I'd been in love with him. A year? Possibly longer even. Nothing would probably happen between us though. There was too much history._

" _Hey, have you ever thought about dating?" I quickly shut my betraying mouth. Dammit. Why can't you just leave it alone, Renesmee?_

" _What?!" He sat up so fast that if I hadn't had vampire in my genes, I probably wouldn't have seen the whole movement. "Wha- Why…?" He seemed flustered. I sat up as well and stared at him, confused. "I mean," he paused and looked at me with wide eyes, "Why did you ask that? It was so outta the blue. I just… Since when have you thought about dating, Ness?"_

" _Oh, uh, I dunno. I dunno why I asked that either. I guess I'm just curious. You're always with me, but don't guys, like, want a girlfriend so they can, like, uh, kiss and do other stuff?" I blushed at my insinuation. Dammit. Why must I show when I'm uncomfortable all the time?_

 _And he, well, he just look plain horrified that I had just said that, but he answered anyway. He sighed, "Yeah, Ness. I'm gonna be honest and tell you that most guys do want girlfriends for…all that stuff."_

" _Most guys? What, you prefer boys? Getting it on with Seth and Embry, eh?" I joked, trying to lighten the mood._

" _NO! I'm definitely NOT into guys! Is that what you think?" He looked so panicked that I became even more confused._

" _No, not at all. I was just kidding."_

 _He visibly relaxed. "Okay, good…. Look, Ness. I have thought about, you know, dating and having a girlfriend. There's, um, this one girl who I just think is the most amazing person in the world, ya know? I just don't know if it's the right time to make a move, and I don't want to destroy the friendship we currently have. Ya know? I just don't think I could stand to lose her, especially if it was because I pushed her or made a move too early."_

 _My heart sank. I don't know what my stupid brain was hoping for when I asked the question, but it certainly wasn't that. I selfishly wanted him to be mine, my boyfriend, but I couldn't make him like me, especially if he's into another girl. I wondered who she was, if I had met her. "Do I know this girl?" I glanced up at him._

 _He looked at me and opened his mouth, but didn't say anything for a moment. Finally he said, "Yeah, Ness, you do."_

" _Oh…" I stared down at my hands. I'm his best friend. I have to be there for him. I have to support him. "Well, then, I think you should just do it. If it's meant to be, then it will work out. If she isn't into like that and she lets your feelings ruin your friendship, then she isn't worth your friendship anyway. You're an amazing person and friend. She'd be a fool to let that all go. Hell, she'd be a fool to not like you anyway, but if she doesn't I just hope she knows you're worth having as a friend even if you do have a crush. You won't push her. I know that. You're not that kind of guy. If you don't make a move, you'll just sit around wondering when the right time will be or if she really likes you. Eventually, you'll be too late, and she'll have someone else. All you can do is try."_

 _He didn't say anything in response. I sat there uncomfortably, wringing my hands. Finally I glanced up at him. He was staring at me with an awed look in his eyes._

" _How come," he grabbed my hand, "you always know the right things to say? And how do you say it so eloquently?"_

" _I don't know what you me-" My eyes widened as he cut me off by pressing his lips to mine. After a second, he pulled away and nervously searched my face for any hint of what I was feeling._

" _I'd like to take you out. On a date, I mean. If you'll have me, Renesmee."_

" _Yes. I mean yes, please. I'd love that. You have no idea how much I'd love that." I launched myself at him, and, as always, he caught me as I hugged him tight around his neck._

It had been the best night of her life when he had chosen her. And the best two months of her life had followed. They did the normal stuff they usually did: cliff diving, swimming, racing, hunting. Only now, they held hands and kissed occasionally in between. Her parents hadn't been thrilled, but they hadn't tried to stop them either. They'd been in love which is why she couldn't understand why he did it.

 _It was the last week of June, and he was late picking me up. He was never late. I paced, worried something had happened. Finally, I saw his bike pull into the driveway._

 _I bounded down the steps and leaped into his arms. He caught me just like normal, only this time he seemed distant. "Where were you? I thought maybe you'd been captured by your sister for more wedding plans." I smiled at him. He returned it with a forced one._

" _Ness…sweetheart… I-we need to talk."_

 _Now I was freaking out. "What? What is it? What's wrong?" I started checking up and down for any sign of injury or what had happened._

" _Hey, hey," he smoothed my hair away from my face and cupped my head in his hands, "It's nothing like that. Calm down. It's just..." he sighed and dropped his hands. "I'm just going to tell you like ripping off a band-aid, okay?" He looked at me for reassurance, so I slowly nodded my head. "I enlisted in the Marines, Ness. I'm not a hundred percent sure why I did it, but it was just something I needed to do. Seth, Embry, Quil, and I had been discussing it for a while, and this morning I just went and did it."_

" _I- I don't understand. What does this mean for us? How long will you be gone? Will you get leave and come visit?"_

" _I've enlisted for four years, and I leave next week, July 1_ _st_ _. All I know currently is there will be six months of basic training down in California, and then, most likely, I'll be shipped overseas for at least a year. I don't know what I'll be doing after that, and I don't know when I can come visit." He suddenly looked pained. As he spoke again, his voice choked for a moment, but only for a moment. "Ness, I think that we should end this. I want to be with you, don't think that's why I'm saying this, but who knows how long I'll be gone or if I'll even come back." My heart shuddered at the thought of his body lifeless. "I don't want you to feel stuck. If you meet someone, I want you to have the freedom to live your life the way you want, okay?"_

 _Tears began to swell in my eyes, "I don't want you to go."_

" _I know. I don't really want to leave you, but this is something I have to do. Please, please be happy Renesmee. That's all I ask of you. Goodbye." And with that he turned at left without a second glance._

She had been so heartbroken, but because she loved him and that's what he wanted to do, she couldn't bring herself to try to stop him. She tried to forget about him. She even was trying to move on. She'd been on a few dates with boys from school. She'd been getting better at living her life without it him. It was hard, especially since she hadn't just lost a love, but her best friend as well. However, she _had_ been figuring it out.

And then she saw the news.

A helicopter in his company had been shot down in the Middle East. No names of who was injured and killed had been released to the press. His father was here, with her grandpa, waiting for a call. A call from him telling them he was ok, or a call from his superior saying those dreadful words, "We're sorry for your loss." Now it was just a waiting game.

It wasn't until three days later that he called. He was safe. She could go back to living her life now, couldn't she?


	2. Chapter 1: Her Choice

Chapter 1: Her Choice

I smiled over at Claire, my best friend, in the passenger seat. She was currently ranting about her boyfriend, Quil. After Jake left for basic training, I had attempted to stay away from my old friends, his friends, in hopes of creating a new life without Jake. However, it didn't work for long. Clair eventually got fed up with not having another teenage girl in the group and begged me to at least hang out with her. We turned out to be more similar than we had previously realized. We had the same taste in books, music, movies, and television. And we also have dated, or are currently dating in Claire's case, a werewolf. The only difference is that Claire and Quil spend more time together than Jake and I ever did because Jake was alpha. Anyways, I ended up back in the friend group. To be honest, I'm glad. I've always loved the pack. They're hilarious.

"…and so he just stood there and did absolutely nothing! Can you believe that? This girl was totally putting the moves on him, and he did nothing!" Claire said exasperated.

"It's better than him leaning into her and making out with her, right?" Claire looked horrified.

"Do you think that's what he was thinking about?" Claire seemed like she might kill Quil.

"No! He's head over heels for you, Claire. He probably didn't know what to do or just didn't realize what she was doing because he only has eyes for you, okay? Claire you have nothing to worry about when it comes to Quil. Well, at least not about him cheating on you."

"You think?" Claire seemed skeptical.

"Yes, you need to realize what a hot commodity you are! Damn girl! If I was a lesbian, I'd fuck you. Quil's one lucky bastard, and, luckily for you, he knows it!" I smiled at her again.

"Thanks, Ren. Hey, are you going out with James again?"

"I dunno. I mean he's nice and all and really attractive, but I'm just not sure if we click in the right way, ya know?" James was this brilliant college junior. Totally gorgeous. And for some reason, he wanted to go out with me, a lowly freshman. The only problem was that there was no spark between us on our first date. We didn't kiss or anything, just went out to dinner, but we still didn't click exactly. "The date itself was fine, and he wants to hang out again tomorrow. He invited me to the party his fraternity is throwing. It's exclusive or something. I dunno if I'm going to go though."

"Wait! A frat party! Ren, you gotta get us in! Please, please, please! It'll be so fun! Think of it as a double date. You and James. Me and Quil. We'll go to dinner first! Ask him! Please?" Claire quickly begged and turned on the puppy dog eyes. Oh, lordy.

"Alright, fine. I'll ask. But only for you, okay? You owe me. Next Saturday you and I are going to go see that new Disney movie if I do this for you. Quil can fend for himself for one Saturday night." I pulled into Emily and Sam's driveway as I reasoned with her. Tonight was another bonfire. We had a lot of them with the pack. It was awesome, but tonight all the elders were coming for some reason. No one knew why, but usually when they came the legends were told all over again. This meant that I would be telling the story of my parents and what all eventually ended up in me, and this also meant talking a lot about Jake. Perfect.

"Done. Frat party tomorrow. Movie next week." Claire looked way too pleased with herself for my liking.

"Hi!" Emily came bounding down the steps leading up to the house. "Ren, it's been forever since I've seen you! How are you? How's college been treating you? You should come home with Claire more. In fact, I'm surprised you haven't come with her already." Emily flashed me a warm, motherly smile.

"I haven't wanted to impose." I pulled her into a hug, and she suddenly seemed cautious.

"I should probably warn you about-"

"Where have you been, gorgeous?!" Seth cut Emily off and swept me up into a hug. I began to laugh, but stopped when growling erupted. Seth abruptly put me down. "Sorry," he said tersely and walked away with a quick wave.

"Wait, wha-?" I was so confused. I looked back and forth between Claire, who was just as confused as me, and Emily, who looked really guilty. Then I saw the origin of the growling and who Emily wanted to tell me about.

Jacob Black stalked out of the house looking like someone had just ate his Doritos. His hair was buzzed to a short crew cut. His muscles were still huge and had amazing definition. A black t-shirt hugged his chest and jeans hung low on his hips. I briefly noticed he still wore combat boots. He stopped at the edge of the porch without saying anything, crossed his arms, and leaned against the porch frame. Damn. He looked hella fine.

Jacob stared out without expression at me and Claire. Claire's mouth was hanging open while I just stared back. I took in his new scars, mostly on his hands but a few cut across his forearms and one across his jaw. The worst-looking one started on the left side of his neck and disappeared below his t-shirt. I wondered just how far it went. He had a new tattoo as well. Mirroring his Quileute tribal tattoo, it was on his other bicep. Semper Fi. Of course, Marine Corps motto. He always committed heart, soul, and body to his "brothers" so why not his marine buddies as well.

Not wanting to show how much emotion I felt at seeing him after two years, I turned away and stalked after Seth who was now sitting around the fire built. As I strode off, I briefly waved over my shoulder and said, "Welcome home. Glad you're safe." It was polite to say that stuff, right?

I suddenly felt more nervous than I had in a long time. Why was he home? Didn't he still have two more years left, at least, in the Corps? But the most important question ringing through my mind was:

I thought I had moved on. So why did I only want to run into his arms when I saw him?

That's how it was supposed to be, if he hadn't broken it off. I would've waited, stayed faithful. He thought he was doing me a favor by letting me live my life, but he didn't know how much I wanted that life to be with him. Instead, he chose for me. And for that, for not asking what I wanted, I'll never go back to him. I didn't care that he enlisted; I only cared that he didn't figure out what would happen with us with me.

So, I'm just going to keep living my life the way I have the past two years, the way he wanted it to be: without him.


	3. Chapter 2: Her Ex

Chapter 2: Her Ex

AKA: Can You Feel the Tension Tonight?

Jake being home explained why the elders had come to this meeting. For one, his father was an elder and of course would want to see his son. For another, the elders all loved Jake, and they respected him. I mean he was still alpha even though Leah was currently running the pack in his place. The bonfire dragged on. The legends seemed to be taking longer to be told. I'm not sure if the elders were talking slower, but I think time seemed to pass slower due to the eyes I could feel upon me.

He always had a certain presence that only I seemed attuned to. I could feel it now on every inch of my body. Jake was watching me, and as much as I instinctively wanted to look his way, I forced myself to train my eyes on the elder speaking. It was turning out to be much more difficult than I had thought.

Finally the legends ended, which meant everything would turn into a more relaxed setting. Food would be passed around and everyone would talk to each other at leisure. Or at least, that's what normally happened. Instead, Billy, Jacob's father, decided it was going to be sharing time.

"We held this bonfire to specifically welcome my son home from overseas. I happen to know I want to hear about what's been going on with him, and I think it would be nice if we all shared what's been happening in our lives." Dammit Billy. I don't want to talk about my life to a man I have no intention in making a major part of my life. "Jacob, would you be willing to start, please?"

"There's not much I can talk about. A lot of it, like the missions, are confidential. All I can say is after I finished basic training, I was stationed overseas in Afghanistan. I saw…" Jake took a shaky breath and looked a little pale. I instinctively leaned closer even though he was across the fire from me. He blew out a breath and continued, "a lot of…nasty, horrible things. Things you couldn't imagine. I lost… some comrades, some friends. I'm thankful I'm home, and you're all here, safe. Now, I'm stationed at the base in Sappho. After something that happened in Afghanistan, they sent us back here to work on training and equipment as a break. I have to be on base for about 10 hours a day, three days a week, or the equivalent of that. So, I have some freedom here."

Wow, I wondered what happened. He couldn't talk about any of it. Jacob was one of the most open people I know, and he looked like he might be sick if he talked about it. I knew war was gory and usually left a lot of people broken, but I never imagined it happening to Jacob Black. He was always a constant, someone to be strong for me when I was upset. Now, as I looked over at him, I saw him in a different light. He held himself with pride, but at the same time there was something in his posture that spoke of something lost. Perhaps, a piece of him was left in Afghanistan. If so, I only hoped that piece could be replaced. Even though, we wouldn't be an item, I still didn't want him troubled.

"Wow, man. I'm sorry for everyone you lost. That sucks." Seth, ever the sweetheart, spoke up. Jake just nodded in response.

"Okay, on to the next person." Billy turned the focus away from Jacob and what he'd been through. "Ren? How about you go next?"

"M-me? We aren't just going around the fire?" What the hell are you doing, Billy? I'm not getting back together with your son. I know you want me to, but, just, no.

"I suppose we could, but you've had a lot going on the past couple of years. A lot of really great stuff. I think Jacob would like to hear about it, if I'm not mistaken."

"Love to." Jacob again looked up from the place in the dirt he had been staring at me.

"Uhh, well, I graduated high school with honors. That was a bit of a difficult time. Got sick a lot my last two years. Got accepted to the University of Denver, Princeton, Stanford, and um, University of Washington at Forks. I obviously ended up at University of Washington. Claire and I became best friends." Jake looked down when I said that. "Now, we're rooming together, and yeah, here we are." I awkwardly played with the sleeve on my sweater.

"Oh, come on, Ren! You've got more to say than that!?" I glared at Claire.

"No, I think that's it," I ground out.

"Well, what about James?" Claire gave me a pointed look.

She's trying to make Jake jealous, or she's trying to get herself killed. Maybe both. Why else would she poke the wolf. After Jacob's growling at Seth hugging me earlier and his constant staring, it was obvious he still had a thing for me. He's not going to want to hear about James, and, honestly, I wasn't bringing him up because we've been on ONE, count it ONE, date. Dammit.

"Who's James?" Seth looked half worried, half insanely curious.

Jake leaned closer as I stammered, "Uh, well, he's this guy I met last week. We've been out, like, once. Nothing serious." I ended in a whisper.

"And how old is this James?" Oh, Lord. His voice was extremely calm and controlled which could only mean one thing: Jacob was fuming.

I took a deep breath and looked straight at Jake's cold gaze. "He's a junior, so 20. He'll be 21 in a few weeks."

"What's he like?" Why? Why must you do this? We're over, Jacob. That was your choice. Why must you torture both of us with these questions?

"I don't think that's any of your business, Black." I snapped.

"I beg to differ. I have every right to know about your life since your my-" Jake cut himself off, and everyone looked stunned. What was he going to say?

"Your girlfriend? Is that what you were going to say? Because I'm not your girlfriend, Jacob! I could've been," Jake looked up, surprised. "But you decided I was better off single while you were off putting yourself in harm's way! This was your choice! You have not claim to me."

Jacob looked pissed now. "I do have a claim to you!"

"Oh, yeah? What claim, huh? Please enlighten me!"

"You're my i-"He stopped short again, as if he caught himself before he said something he wasn't supposed to. "I, uh," he paused and sighed, "Nevermind."

"You've got to be kidding me! You're unbelievable, Jacob!"

"Ren! Stop!" Leah was suddenly standing with her alpha face on. "That's enough. Let it go." I felt a brief desire to burst into song when I heard those words, but quickly pushed it down.

"Why does everyone keep calling you Ren, Ness?" Jake was back to addressing me calmly, but this time he used a tone he usually only saved for me when we were alone. And he used his nickname for me. I gave up that nickname when he left because it hurt too much that he wasn't around to call me Ness or Nessie, so I switched to the first part of my name, Ren.

"I go by Ren, now." I said quietly. "I think it's best if I go back to my dorm."

"Wait! Ren, c'mon! You both released that tension you've had between you two all night with that spat! Stay!" Seth pleaded.

"I don't think- "I took a deep breath. "I don't think that tension will ever go away. I- I just can't do this right now. Sorry."

I walked away as quickly as I could without running. I reached my car, unlocked the door, and paused. I leaned my head against the driver window while my hand rested on the handle. Hot tears began to slide down my cheeks out of frustration. I took a shaky breath and picked my head up. Just as I was about to pull open the door, I felt a hot touch at my waist.

"Seth, I'm going back, okay? I miss you, too. You should just come down to the school and visit, okay?" When I got no response, I realized that presence was there again. The one I hadn't felt this close to in two years. I slowly turned around.

"Hey," he raked a hand through his hair. "Can we talk?" I opened my mouth to answer, but before I could, he kept talking. "Please, Ness, er, Ren? I just want to talk to you about the past two years and everything that's gone on between us. Please? You're the only one I can talk to. You always have been." He looked desperate…and lost. Jacob slipped the hand resting on my waist to my lower back and pulled me slightly towards him. Then he dropped his head, resting his forehead on mine. "Please." His brown eyes bore into mine.

I'd still do anything for this man, wouldn't I? "Okay, let's talk. Would you like to come back to my dorm with me?"


	4. Chapter 3: Her Feelings

Chapter 3: Her Feelings

Jacob insisted on driving, so here I was sitting in the passenger seat. The good thing was I could watch him and try to figure out how I felt. The bad thing was I had time to think about him. If I was driving, I could put my focus onto the road and not how good-looking he was or how sweet he had been when he opened my door. I wouldn't be thinking about the way he looked at me as he helped me in.

Maybe offering up my dorm as a place to talk wasn't a good idea. Claire wouldn't be home tonight. It would just be him and me, and by the looks of it, he wanted something from me, something that I wasn't sure I could give him again. I mean, he broke my heart when he left, and I moved on. I think I have at least.

Jacob stared straight ahead as he drove. I don't think he's ever been this serious while driving. He was always so relaxed and carefree when we were in the car. Now, he looked light he might jump out of his skin if someone drove too close. A few minutes ago, someone passed us up in the next lane and his hands gripped the steering wheel so tight, I thought he was going to snap if off the dashboard.

"What are you thinking about?" Jacob's question caught me off guard.

"Mmm?" I said lazily.

"You always used to keep your mind open for me to read. Always used your gift, even with other people. But you especially kept the connection open with me. You've been staring at me for a while, and, right now, I just wish I knew what you were thinking."

"Oh." I blushed. "Um, I don't really open my connection to anyone anymore. I think the last time I did was…" I thought back. Had it really been that long ago. I wonder if I could even open it without touching someone now like I used to before I strengthened my gift. "Well, I guess it was before you left, so two years. I mostly vocalize my thoughts now, or at least the ones I want heard."

"Really?" Jake looked over at me with sadness in his eyes. "You really should use it. It makes you that much more special. I loved hearing you in my head, and I know the pack liked it, too. It was a change from the normal intruding thoughts." Jake turned back to the road. "And you didn't answer my question."

Right. What was I thinking about? You, Jacob. You. You. You. But if I told him that he'd probably expect something to come out of tonight. He'd probably think I still wanted to be with him. I decided to go for a half truth. "Uh, actually, I was wondering how you're really doing. You put on a fairly brave face at the bonfire, but I know you well enough to know you were hiding something. What was it really like over there? You seem forever tense, now."

Jake gritted his teeth and grasped the steering wheel tighter. "It was awful, Ness," he whispered so quietly I could barely hear him. "I- I don't know how to explain it. I can't explain it without losing it. The bombs. The blood. The death." He shook his head. "The only reason why I'm not completely insane right now was because I had this picture I would tape to my bed every night and to my rifle during a day. I would look at it and think "This is what you're fighting for Jacob. This is why you need to survive another day. If you ever want to see the real thing again, you have to make it through. You've got to be strong for any chance of that life to be possible again."

"What was the picture of? Your family? The pack? La Push?" Please, please, please don't say it. Just don't I don't think I could handle it if you say it.

Jacob smiled slightly and shook his head. "No, Ness. The picture was of you. It's one of the ones you took on my phone while I was sleeping. You're smiling and looking at me with so much love. I kept fighting so hard over there to get back to you. To that life. To the life we could have together. It's all I want. Hell, it's all I've ever wanted."

"Jacob, you-" He cut me off.

"I know what you're going to say. You've moved on. I don't like it, Ness. I, honestly, don't like it at all, but I made that choice to give you your freedom when I left. But I will fight like hell for you, Ness. I love you. You're the smoke to my high."

My heart constricted at our private joke. "The Perfect Two" was the song I once played saying it was our song. It quickly became a joke between us. We never listened to it, just quoted it all the time. "Is this what you wanted to talk to me about tonight?"

"No. Actually, I planned on telling you all of this later, but tonight I wanted to know what you want from me. How you feel about me. I don't want to live without you, Ness, but if you don't want me around, I'll respect that. I was really hoping we could try the friend thing again, at least. Please." At this moment, Jake parked my car in the lot next to my dorm.

I quickly jumped out of the car and headed towards the front door. Jacob followed me into the building and up to mine and Claire's room. I silently unlocked the door and entered. I dropped my purse on my desk and turned to Jacob. The moonlight came through my window, highlighting his gorgeous features. "I don't know if I can handle being friends with you," I whispered.

His eyes moved from me to the floor, disappointment and pain obvious on his face. "I understand." He shuffled his feet a bit. "I'll, uh, just be going then. Thanks for hearing me out, at least. I'm sorry I got so upset earlier." He reached for the door handle. "And, Ness, or Ren. You go by Ren now, right?" I nodded. "If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to call. I'll always be there if you need me, okay?" Without waiting for my answer, he opened the door.

Then I did perhaps the stupidest thing I could've in that moment.

I dashed over to him and wrapped my arms around his torso, pressing my face into the center of my back. He smelled just like he always had: fresh water and like the forest in the fall. I told him how I had really been feeling, "I have been so terrified of never seeing you again for the past two years. Then when you showed up today, I was angry because you growled at Seth for picking me up, because you still felt you had a claim on me, because you should've still had a claim for me but you broke up with me instead. I was so mad at you because I just wanted to run into your arms and to feel you and know you were safe and home. I was so mad because I was relieved you were home, alive. But most of all I was angry at you because you broke up with me, you left me and I still love you. I still only want to be with you. It's not fair." I was whispering by the end of my long speech, but I still held him tight to me. He still felt so warm under my touch.

He hadn't moved a muscle since I first hugged him, but now he pried my arms from his body, letting the door shut. Jacob silently turned to face me while still holding onto my arms. "What did you just say?" He looked terrified like I might run away at any second.

I looked down towards my shoes. Then, because I was too afraid to speak, I opened the connection I had kept closed for so long and let my love for him pass from my mind to his. He gasped as he felt it and realized what I was doing. Then a huge smile spread across his face.

"Man, have I missed that." Then he slid his hands up my arms to cup my face and kissed me.


	5. Chapter 4: Her Lover

Chapter Four: Her Lover

It felt like I was the one coming home, not him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and opened my mouth. My tongue met his in the middle. Jake quickly won our battle and his tongue invaded my mouth. It explored every inch as if my mouth was new territory even though Jake probably knew my mouth better than I did.

I relished in his touch. Jacob had slid his hands through my hair and down my back, all the while pulling me closer to him. I reopened the connection and showed him how much I enjoyed his touch and kisses. He groaned into my mouth. "Me too, baby," he said quickly between kisses.

His hands slid farther down to cup my butt, and this time it was my turn to groan as he squeezed my butt. "I've missed you so much, baby. I love you. I promise I won't ever leave you again. I couldn't if I tried." He squeezed my butt again, but this time he pressed his hips into mine. I pressed back desperately, feeling his arousal against me.

Then, Jake picked me up. Out of reflex I wrapped my legs around his waist. Our lips never parted as he carried me to my bed. After laying me down, he began to kiss me down my jaw and neck only pausing to nibble my ear for the briefest of seconds. He held himself over me on one elbow. His free hand caressed down my side to my hip. Grasping my hip, he brought his hips down to mine over and over again, grinding into me. Wanting more friction, I matched my movements to his, my hips lifting up to meet his, and he groaned into the place where my shoulder and neck met.

"Oh, baby, yes." He was breathing heavily now as was I. I gasped as he gently bit my neck.

I groaned in pleasure. "Don't stop." My hands slid up his back taking his shirt with them. He broke away for a moment to pull off his shirt. I took the opportunity to flip us, so I was on top. Instinctively, his hands went to my hips. I pulled off my shirt as well and went back to kiss him again. Pulling away, I asked against his lips, "Do you want me to bit you?"

He captured my lips with his again. When he pulled away, he nodded. I licked him down his chin and on the underside of his jaw. Then I moved over to the right side of his neck and teased him with a small bite that didn't break the skin. "Ness, please." I loved it when he begged.

I bit into his skin, taking a deep drink of his sweet blood. It was better than I remember it tasting. Jake growled and thrust his hips up to mine again and again. He was getting impatient.

"Jake?" I pulled away after I made sure his skin began to heal.

"What, baby?" He brushed my hair away from my face and caressed my cheek. I leaned my head into his hand.

"I don't want to do this like this."

He froze. "Baby, I don't want you to feel pressured. You know my rule: Just say the word and we stop."

"No, that's not what I mean."

"Then, what do you mean?"

"I don't want to do this like this." I gestured to him under me.

"Oh? And how do you want to do this, baby?" He smiled a devious smile. He was enjoying this.

"I want you…" I took a deep breath. "I want you to fuck me. Hard."

His eyes widened. He didn't expect me to say that. I smiled triumphantly the squealed as he flipped us over faster than I thought possible. "Your wish is my command, baby, but I do have to say I thought you wanted me to make love to you, not just fuck." As he said this, he unbuttoned my jeans and slid his hand beneath my underwear. Fuck. He brushed up my slit with his finger, making me buck against his hand. He continued to tease me, and I groaned as he came down to kiss me again while simultaneously moving his thumb against my clit. "That's it, baby. You can do it."

I felt myself climbing higher and higher as he persistently made circles with his thumb. When he pressed a finger into me, I lost it, screaming against his mouth and pressing my hip into his hand. Holy shit. I had forgotten how skilled he was at this.

"You still want me to fuck you, baby?" He whispered against his lips. I silently nodded as I ran my hands down to the bulge in his jeans.

I brushed my fingers against his erection and he thrust his hips towards my hand. "Ahh, fuck." I quickly unbuttoned his pants while he pressed his lips back to mine. I stroked him through his boxers until he sat up and kicked off both his pants and boxers. I felt myself get more aroused as I took him in. Then, he pulled off the rest of my clothing. I lifted my hips to let him pull off my pants, and then arched my back so he could unclasp my bra.

He pressed kisses to my chest, gently biting my breasts. I groaned when he flicked my nipple with his tongue. Oh, God. "Jake, now, please."

He raised his head to look into my eyes. "I love you, baby."

"I love you, too." I leaned up to kiss him again, but he pulled out of range.

"Hmm." He had that devious look on his face again.

"What?" I whined, quickly becoming impatient with his teasing.

He leaned down to my ear while moving his hand down to cup my sex again. "How wet are you for me, baby? Show me how much you want me. It's only fair. You know how much I want you." He pressed his erection against my thigh. "Hmm?"

Jake pressed his finger into me. He gasped at the intense feeling and slid his finger up my slit again. "So wet for me, baby. Goddamn."

Then he removed his hand and slammed himself into me all the way. I grinded against him and groaned. "Holy shit, baby. I forgot how good you feel." He kissed me hard again.

I pressed my hips up to his, and he began to thrust into me. We kept kissing as he caressed my body and fucked me. I ran my hands up and down his torso, feeling his chest. It had been two years since we had done this, and my body reacted to his violently. We poured two years of missing each other into our movements. Soon, I felt my body get closer again. "Faster, Jake."

He thrust into me harder and fasted, groaning. "Yes, baby. I'm going to come." As he said this, I orgasmed my body clenching around his. "Ahh, yess.." Jake came, thrusting hard into me one last time. I could feel his hot liquid pour inside me. It felt amazing.

After, he relaxed and fell to lay next to me on his side. He pressed kisses against my face and neck. "I love you. I love you. I love you," he kept saying between kisses. I giggled and turned towards him, capturing his lips with mine. When I pulled away, he said, "I missed you so much. Thank you for tonight."

"You'll stay the night, right?"

"You couldn't make me move from this spot even if you had a gun pressed to my head."

I flinched thinking about anyone pointing a gun at Jake, yet I know it must've happened more than once in the past two years. I turned on my side and snuggled into his chest. He dropped a kiss to the top of my head. "Good night, baby."

I slept better than I had for two years wrapped up in his warm arms.


	6. Chapter 5: His Night Terrors

Chapter 5: His Night Terrors

That is, I slept soundly until Jacob started screaming.

The minute he started to shout, I shot up off his chest. He was thrashing wildly and screaming something I couldn't make out. Panicked, I tried to wake him.

"Jake! Jake! Wake up! It's just a dream!"

His eyes shot open and looked around desperately. They landed on me and I smiled, my hands still on his chest. The next thing I knew, I was pinned underneath him, his hands wrapped around my throat. I couldn't breathe. I grasped his hands to try to pry them away, but his grip tightened. His eyes were cold, murderous. I scratched at his hands. When I drew blood, Jacob looked down at the cut my nails had made.

The look on his face changed from cold to sudden understanding. He immediately pulled his hands away, looking shaken. Scrambling to the other end of the bed, he stared at his hands and then at me. He was terrified.

"Ness, baby, I'm- I'm so sorry! I never meant to hurt you! Believe me when I say I didn't think it was you. I just saw- I saw them. Those monsters, those terrorists and insurgents. I thought- I felt like I was back in the Middle East." He was beginning to sound like a lost child. "It's always in my head, Ness, always."

I rubbed my neck, sure it was going to bruise for a day, maybe two. "Jacob, what exactly do you mean?"

"They're night terrors. You know what those are, don't you?" I nodded. "Yeah, a lot of soldiers suffer from them. I never had a problem until I came back home. After, well, after the incident. I've actually been home for more than two weeks, but after healing from the incident, the terrors started. They diagnosed me with PTSD. So, I started therapy, but it didn't do much. As a last attempt, they said I should go back to living life as normal as I can."

I crawled over to him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to worry you." He reached out to stroke my face and stopped short. I quickly grabbed his hand and planted a kiss in the center of his palm.

"It's not your fault," I whispered. "Don't beat yourself up over it. It's going to be okay."

Jacob leaned down to rest his head in my lap, and I began to stroke his hair. "Thank you for being so amazing. You shouldn't have to be." He nuzzled my thigh.

I just kept stroking his hair until he fell asleep. Then, I began to think back to earlier that night. His kisses. His touches. His words of love. All of it was perfect. Jacob was perfect. I couldn't remember the last time I felt so content. I still loved him. I just didn't know if I could still be with him.

Jacob was still in the Marines. What happens if he gets shipped off again? Would he break up with me again? I don't think I could handle that after giving him every part of me twice. I wouldn't be able to come back from it. I shook my head as if to try and rid myself of my thoughts. I didn't want to think about that right now. I just wanted to enjoy the best night I've had in a long while.

The sex was amazing, and even though it was really just fucking, it was still love-making too. It was rough, and I knew I was going to be sore in the morning. However, I could feel Jacob's love for me with every touch. And when the final moment came and he spilled into me, it felt like we had officially become one. I'd never felt that sensation before.

I stilled instantly. I'd never felt that sensation before. I'd never felt the heat of his come inside me before. Why did I only just now experience this? _You forgot a condom, stupid._

Son of a bitch.

I was out of bed and over to my desk in less than a second. I pulled open the drawer. Crap. We forgot to use a condom. How did we forget? We used to be so careful all the time. Dammit.

"Ness, baby, what's wrong?" Crap. I must've woken him by shooting out of bed.

"Uh, well, we fucked up."

"I know we fucked. I was there." I glanced over my shoulder at him. He had a lazy grin across his adorable, sleepy face.

"No we fucked UP," I emphasized.

"What do you mean?" Jacob was slowly becoming more alert.

I grabbed the box of condoms out of my drawer and threw them at his face. He easily caught the box before it hit him, and inspected it closely. After realizing what it was, his eyes widened, and he jumped off the bed. "Shit!"


	7. Chapter 6: Her Mistake

Chapter 6: Her Mistake

Jacob was pacing the room, running his hands through his hair again and again. He was freaking out. That much was obvious. I couldn't stop running my hand across my lower abdomen. Was I pregnant? Could I even become pregnant? The half-vampire set of genetics blurred the lines of normal humanity. I didn't want a baby. Why would I? I was a freshman in college. _It's too early._

I was so lost in thought, I didn't notice Jacob had stopped in front of me and looked down at me with a frown on his face. "What are you thinking?" I whispered.

"That I'd be a shitty father." His smiled sadly. "But you'd be an amazing mom if it came to that. Plus, if you are pregnant I'd get to keep you." He reached out to stroke my face, but I recoiled.

What did _that_ mean?

I was suddenly furious. And scared. Not a great combination.

"Did you _plan_ this?" I hissed.

Jacob pulled back. "What?" He looked shocked. "No! I just got lost in you, Ness. You have always had a way of making me lose my mind. In a good way, of course. Why would you think I would purposely knock you up?" He was pissed now, his voice getting louder and louder.

"Because you wanted me back." Realization spread across his face, but he was still angry. But, then again, so was I. I got lost in him, too. Being with him was like coming home after a year in prison. It had felt so right.

And it shouldn't have happened.

If anything, this possible pregnancy was proof. We didn't think around each other, and when bad things happened we get angry with each other instead of supporting each other. We had always been like this, but now I had the memory of him leaving me to encourage my anger.

"Jacob, I think you should go." I whispered.

Bewildered, he asked, "What?"

"Look, last night was- Well, it was amazing. I still love you, Jacob. And I know you still love me, but it was a mistake. I don't think I can forgive you for leaving me. I don't trust you, obviously. I just accused you of purposely trying to get me pregnant. I don't know if that will ever change. Tonight shouldn't have happened. And now we might have to deal with the repercussions. And if we're together, especially if I am pregnant, I'm always going to wonder when you'll leave me again." I felt tears silently stream down my cheeks.

"Ness, I'm not going to leave you again. I couldn't. And- and I'll show you that you can trust me. Just give me a chance," Jacob panicked, forgetting his earlier anger.

"I can't. Please just go. Don't make this harder. Looking at you hurts."

Pain etched across his face. "Ness-"

"Ren." I whispered. His nickname for me cut my heart open like a knife, yet when I corrected him, he looked like he was the one being cut open.

"And if you are pregnant?"

I looked up at him, "Then we'll face it when and if it comes to that. Good bye Jacob."

He didn't say another word, just silently pulled his t-shit back on and left.


	8. Chapter 7: His Barbeque

Chapter 7: His Barbeque

 **2 weeks later**

"Soooo we're hoping for not pregnant, right?" Claire was sitting with me in our room while we waited the 2 minutes until we knew the results of the pregnancy test I had bought this morning.

"Of course! Why would I want to be pregnant? I'm 18. You're not hoping I am, are you?" I glared at her. It had been two weeks since Jacob had come home- and two weeks since we'd had sex. I thought about him every day, but I just couldn't go back down that road with him. I couldn't.

"Yeah, yeah, of course, but you know I still think you should be with him." Claire had freaked out when I told her about Jacob, going on and on about how we could go on double dates again. She always liked Jacob and me together. When I told her I had made it clear it was a one-time thing, she had been disappointed but supportive like always.

"Well, it's not going to happen."

Claire looked at me and smiled sadly but said nothing. She looked down at her phone. "It's been two minutes."

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Picking up the stick, I analyzed the results. "Not pregnant. Oh, thank God." I dropped my head onto my desk.

Claire strode over to me from where she stood beside her bed. "Well, now that that's settled, I have a message for you." I looked up at her. "Okay, well, not a message exactly, but I should tell you Jacob asked me about you when I went to the movies with Quil and the guys last night."

I tried and failed to hide my curiosity. "What did he ask?"

"How you were doing- if you were okay." She shrugged. "He asked that in front of the guys. Later, when they went to get food, he dropped back behind them with me and asked about what I knew, so I told him that you had told me everything. Then he asked if you knew yet." She gestured to the pregnancy test. "He asked me to call him or ask you to call him once you knew. He said he was worried... and that he was sorry."

I sighed. Same old Jacob. Even if he was mad or upset about us not getting back together, he still worried about me and was responsible. I had no doubt that if I had been pregnant he would've done everything he could've- and should've- to help. "Don't worry about it, I'll call him and tell him."

"Really?" Claire looked skeptical.

"Yes, why wouldn't I?"

"He also said he's been trying to call you just to talk, but you were ignoring his texts and calls."

Damn him. Yes, he'd been trying to reach me, and I had been dutifully avoiding him, but it was only going to make it harder on both of us. It was why I hadn't seen any of my friends except Claire since the bonfire. I didn't want to put them in a position of choosing between their friend, brother, and pack-mate and me. They hadn't seen him in a while and deserved time with him. I knew they missed me. Embry and Seth had called and told me as much. Seth even went so far as to whine and beg for me to come hang out even for a little while. I had caved slightly telling him that he could come hang out the following Saturday which was now today. He should be here any minute, in fact.

"So what if I ignored him. I'll call him and tell him he isn't going to be a daddy any time soon, okay? I'm dialing. Remember Seth should be here soon, too. Are you chilling with us? We're planning on going to grab some dinner and then to the hockey game. We'll get ice cream after."

I placed the phone to my ear, hearing it ring as I called Jacob and Claire responding. "Actually, Quil is coming with Seth and we're going to spend some time here, so if you and Seth could stay out until say 10? That would be awesome. Thanks."

Ew. I gave Claire my best grossed out face. Then as luck would have it I said, "Condoms are in my desk drawer if you need them," just as Jacob picked up the phone.

"Um, isn't that what you should've said to me a couple weeks ago?" I felt my cheeks flush.

"I wasn't talking to you." I snapped. "I only called to tell you two things. One: everything's fine. You're-we're- in the clear and two: stop trying to call me."

I heard him let out a sigh of relief. "Okay, good. And I just want to talk, Ne-er-Ren. Please? Just hear me out for a second."

"If I recall, the last time I let you talk to me, I almost got pregnant."

Jacob laughed, although it sounded strained. "Well I'd be some man if I could impregnate you over the phone."

"Fine. What?" I did not want to talk to him right now.

"I'm really glad you called."

"That's what you wanted to say? What if I had picked up the phone when you called me? 'Hey Ness. I'm glad you picked up the phone.' That's stupid, Jacob."

"No! That's not just what I was going to say. I'm just glad you called is all. And I thought you went by Ren now?"

"I do. Why?"

"Well, when you were attempting to mimic me you said Ness not Ren."

"Oh, well, I guess I'm only used to you calling me Ness- not that I'm giving you permission to do so!" I announced quickly.

"Okay. Understood. Anything you want, Ren." I thanked him. "Okay, so, there's this-uh- barbeque that we're having on base for all of our family and friends to celebrate our coming back from overseas, and I was wondering if you'd come."

"Jacob-"

"Before you say anything else, I just want to be clear that I'm asking as a friend if anything. It's not a date, okay? I just think that it's ridiculous that you shouldn't hang out with our friends because you're avoiding me. We should be friends anyway. After all we've been through, I mean. Doesn't it just make sense? We have the same friends, so why shouldn't we at least tolerate hanging out together?"

"Wouldn't that be awkward, though? I'm fine staying away."

"It's only awkward if you make it awkward." He recited something that I used to tell him all the time. I rolled my eyes. "And no, you're not fine. You love your friends, and you love spending time with them. I know you."

Dammit. He was right. "Okay, fine. When is it?"

"Tomorrow at 2." I could hear the triumph in his voice. "I know you're hanging with Seth tonight, so if you tell him you're coming, he'll be sure to pick you up and take you."

"Okay, will do. Thanks. See you tomorrow."

"Yupp. Bye, Ren."

I hung up. Oh, God. What did I just agree to?


	9. Chapter 8: Her Date

Chapter 8: Her Date

Within seconds of hanging up, I heard Seth knocking at the door. "Yo, Ren! You ready to get your party on!?"

Smiling, I swung the door open and said, "You want to go to a party? Really?" I had been trying to get Seth to go to a party with me the entire quarter.

"Haha. No. I will not be the one that brings you to a party because knowing my luck, you'll get hurt or raped or something." He waved his hand in a dismissive manner.

"Nothing would happen to me, Seth. You would take care of me even if you were totally drunk, and you know it. Besides, no one is going to approach a girl who walks in with a 6'4" guy made entirely of muscle."

Seth barked out a laugh. "You're probably right, but I can't, Ren. Even if I wanted to. I'm supposed to keep you out of dangerous situations."

"What? Since when?" Then it hit me. The alpha was back in town, and he was extremely protective of me. "Jacob." Seth nodded. "So, is it just me, or does Claire have the same restrictions with Quil?"

"Uh, well," Seth looked awkwardly at his shoes. So it was just me then.

I was about to inquire what else Jacob had decreed about _my_ life when there was another knock at the door. Seth went to get it, saying, "That's Quil. He drove separately because he wants to stay the night." He looked over at Claire who had been watching our interaction from our bed. She now jumped up as Seth opened the door.

Seth blocked the door, but I could tell by the scent that drifted in that it was a human, not Quil, who stood on the other side. "Seth, who's that?"

"Ren?" I could hear a familiar, male voice from beyond Seth hulking body which now moved to the side allowing the unsuspected visitor in.

James strolled in looking amazing in jeans and an Imagine Dragons t-shirt. "Hey! I hadn't seen you around in a while, and I was wondering if you wanted to do something tonight. I see you have a friend over, though, so what about tomorrow? Wanna grab lunch?" James smiled hopefully.

At this, Seth stopped scrutinizing James and looked to me. "Want to introduce us?"

"Oh, right. Seth, this is James. James this is my best friend from back home, Seth. Seth is a brother of Quil, Claire's boyfriend."

Seth simply nodded while James looked very uncomfortable with the way Seth looked at him. I grabbed Seth's hand and yanked him away from the door, shoving him to a spot behind me. "James, I would love to have lunch with you," I began. Seth cocked his head and raised his eyebrows as if to say 'Would you really, Renesmee? Care to share something with the rest of the class?' I growled in response, low enough for only Seth to hear. He quickly made his face neutral again and began inspecting stuff I had on my desk. I knew he was still listening, though.

Gauging my tone, James urged me to continue. "But?"

"But, I have a barbeque I promised I would be at tomorrow." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Seth stiffen at this news. Claire also saw it and giggled. I imagined it was because of the shock on Seth's face which I couldn't see. Ignoring both of them, I smiled sheepishly at James. "Sorry. Maybe in the evening?"

"I have dinner with my parents tomorrow night."

"Oh." Suddenly, an idea hit me like a ton of bricks. I smiled brightly which James returned with a confused look. "I know! What if you come to the barbeque with me as my date! It's pretty informal, and you'll get to know the rest of my friends!"

Claire immediately stopped laughing, and Seth took a quick intake of breath. They both knew as well as I that I had basically signed my own death warrant. Jacob never liked to share, and he would probably pop a blood vessel if I brought James who obviously liked me, especially since I had called it a date. This was exactly why I did it, though. He needed to see that I had moved on. He needed to finally understand that we were no longer an item. If he wanted us to still be friends, he needed to get used to seeing me with someone else.

James' face, unlike what I imagined Claire's and Seth's were, lite up at my suggestion. "That sounds great. What time would you like me to pick you up?"

"Actually, Seth will drive us as I don't know where it is, so meet us here around 1?"

"Yeah, sure! See you tomorrow!" With that, James left looking much happier than when he had arrived.

As the door shut, Seth finally spoke up. "What…" he shook his head in disbelief, "What the actual fuck, Ren?! What were you thinking? Do you know what Jake is gonna do? Forget what he's going to do to you. Oh, no." He ran his hands down his face as he began pacing. "Jake's going to murder that boy… and then tear me limb from limb for letting him come-no- for letting him near you. Shit, we're all fucked."

"I think I'm going to try to convince Quil to skip out with me. I'm sorry, but I don't want to see Jacob if you're bringing James," Claire helpfully interjected.

I rolled my eyes at both of them. "So he'll be mad. I'll call him and let him know. Then you won't be to blame, Seth, and he'll have a heads up. I'm not going to rescind the invitation, though. Jacob and I are no longer a couple, and he needs to get used to it." I defiantly huffed in frustration while Seth and Claire both stared at me like I was nuts.

At this moment, Quil strode into our dorm without knocking. Seeing the situation in front of him, he stopped and said, "Uh, what did I miss?"

"Ren invited a date to go with her to the barbeque," Seth ground out.

Quil looked surprised, "Wait, she's coming to the barbeque?" Seth gave Quil a pointed look and what he had said finally sunk in for Quil. "A-a date? Ren, are you crazy? Do you want everyone in this room to suffer the wrath of an angry Alpha just back from war?"

I threw my hands up in frustration. "I'm not going through this again! James is coming, like it or not! Seth you're driving us! And I'm calling Jacob like I said! So, just stop!" I finished, breathing hard.

I vaguely heard Quil mumble, "Fine, your funeral," to which I responded with my most venomous glare.

He held up his hands in surrender as I yanked my phone off of my desk. I quickly dialed Jacob's number before my hands could start shaking with nerves. In reality, I knew that I had done something stupid. What would Jacob's reaction be? Angry, for sure. The only question is if he'll be angry enough to phase. That would be bad because it means that he lost every ounce of self-control

Jacob picked up after the first ring. "Renesmee? What's wrong? What happened?" At least he was smart enough to think that I wouldn't be calling for anything unimportant. It's an improvement.

"Nothing. I'm fine. I just wanted to let you know that I'm bringing a date tomorrow." Everyone in our room held their breath, waiting for the explosion.

On the other end, Jacob was silent. I kept quiet while I waited for him to stop battling himself in his head and pick a response. Imagine my surprise when all he said was, "Oh?"

"Um, yeah. Seth is still going to drive us, so we'll be there at 2."

"I'll make sure there's enough food for him then."

"Thanks. So, see you tomorrow?"

"Sure, sure. Later." He hung up before I could say good-bye.

I put my phone down and faced the rest of the group. "See? It's fine."

"If you say so." Quil walked over to Claire to finally greet her.

"You're dead," was all Seth said as he flopped down on my bed.


	10. Chapter 9: His Comrade

Chapter 9: His Comrade

"Nervous?" Seth asked me from the driver's seat. He looked at me with a knowing smirk covering his face.

I dropped my hands into my lap as I attempted to stop wringing them. He was right, unfortunately. I was extremely nervous about Jacob meeting James. He sounded nonchalant on the phone, but I knew Jacob well enough to know that he could've been faking it. I rubbed my forehead. "And if I am?"

"You have no one to blame, but yourself for what happens this afternoon," Seth laughed.

"Thank you. You're just _so_ helpful." Sarcasm dripped from my every word, and Seth threw his head back, laughing harder.

James leaned forward from where he sat in the backseat on our way to Jacob's barbeque. "What do you expect to happen?"

"Nothing. Seth's just being stupid." I gave Seth a pointed look, and he shut up. We drove the rest of the way in silence.

Seth, James, and I stood at the entrance to the base waiting for Jacob to come and sign us in. We were about a half hour late thanks to me "being a girl" which according to James was just me taking a long time to get ready. Seth of course knew I could shower, change, put makeup on, make my bed, and blow-dry my hair in less than 30 minutes if I wanted to. To be truthful, I just wanted to put off coming to this thing for as long as I could. As we waited, I jumped up and down and moved around to burn off some of my anxiety.

I was in the middle of doing some lunges when I felt a hand on my shoulder. James or Seth was probably sick of me fidgeting so much and wanted me to stop. I turned around, and Jacob was standing there. I hadn't even noticed the Jeep he arrived in drive up due to my worries. He studied me and then reached behind me to take the clipboard the officer at the gate held out to him. While he signed us in, he said, "You're usually so punctual, Renesmee. I assume you were waiting on your friend?"

I blew out a huff of air which made my bangs fly up. "No, I was busy getting ready. It's what girls do," I said matter-of-factly and crossed my arms.

"Yes, what large proportion of girls do, but _you're_ not most girls. I've seen you go mud sliding for a day, and then look impeccable for prom within 20 minutes of returning home with no help whatsoever." He smiled fondly as he remembered the day of my junior prom which he escorted me to.

He handed the clipboard back to the officer, and turned to where Seth and James stood. Seth came forward and they did their bro hug. Then Jacob did something completely unexpected. "You must be James." He held his hand out for James to shake.

I raised my eyebrow in suspicion at Seth. He shrugged in confusion. James shook Jacob's hand and looked to me. I cleared my throat. "Uh, James this is Jacob."

"Nice to meet you." James said with a polite smile. Jacob simply nodded.

"Alright. Everyone in the back of the Jeep." Jacob was all business as he strode towards the drivers' door.

We followed. James helped me in which Jacob watched closely, but he said nothing. After we were driving towards a certain part of the base, I noticed there was another person in the passenger seat next to Jacob.

Jacob, sensing my confusion as he always had with my emotions, spoke up, "Guys, this is Amelia, the medic in my unit. Amelia this is Seth, another bro of mine, Ren, and Ren's date James." Jacob choked a little bit on the word date, and unfortunately James noticed and looked slightly confused. I realized James didn't actually know about my history with Jacob. Amelia smiled at us and said hi. Her gaze lingered on me for a moment longer than either of the boys, though.

Her hair was pulled back into a perfect bun. It was a gorgeous color, light brown with natural golden highlights. Her brown eyes had green flecks in them, making them appear to glow in the sunlight. She had one of those perfect smiles too. Her black t-shirt hugged her frame, which I noticed was well endowed. Amelia was absolutely beautiful.

And in that moment, I just knew that she and Jacob had slept together.

I instantly disliked her, so I returned her smile with a scowl. She narrowed her eyes slightly, but said nothing and turned back to face forward. The Jeep stopped. Jacob and Amelia got out, and I noticed all the tables filled with food in front of us. Suddenly excited, I leaped out and dragged James with me. I hugged all of the friends I hadn't seen in a while and began to introduce James to everyone.

He was extremely polite and seemed to get along with everyone. I thought about what it would be like to actually commit to dating him. We would laugh and have fun. No one, with the exception of Jacob I'm sure, disliked him. There wouldn't be a lot of fighting between us, not the way Jacob and I did. I could love James. It would be a safe love, but it wouldn't be passionate like with Jacob.

I stopped because I knew it would never work with James as long as I compared James with Jacob. Besides, it wasn't fair to either of them. They were vastly different people. I shook my head and tried to focus on the conversation about fishing happening between James and my grandpa. I glanced over to where Jacob sat. I noticed begrudgingly that Jacob sat with Amelia who was laughing. Her hand was on his forearm while he looked down at his hands and smiled at whatever was going on with their conversation.

I turned to James and told him I was going to get something to drink. At the drinks table, I scanned the various bottles until I found the Mountain Dew. _Yassss._ I grabbed a red solo cup and poured the Mountain Dew until the cup was full.

"I see you and Jacob have similar tastes." Amelia had snuck up behind me.

Trying to be polite, I nodded. "Yeah, he got me into it, actually."

She smiled in response and asked, "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

Eyeing her suspiciously, I hesitated. "I guess. Not sure what we have to talk about, though."

"Look, Jacob's my friend. We've been through hell together, and I care about what happens to him, about what you do to him."

Immediately my defenses when up. "What I do to him?"

Amelia sighed and leaned against the table. "I know what you mean to him, and I know the story between you two. I don't think it's fair of you to throw a new boyfriend in his face. He's trying to be civil, but he's dying inside. He doesn't like seeing you with James, and it's not fair to him to be put through this so soon."

She finished, but I just stood there with my mouth open. I couldn't believe what she was saying. I can't believe Jacob _confided in her._ About us. Had he told her during their "pillow talks?" Probably.

I wanted to slap her. No, I was going to slap this bitch.


	11. Chapter 10: Her Fights

Chapter 10: Her Fights

"Um, excuse me, bitch?" I took a step back and furrowed my brows. "My relationship with Jacob, or anyone else for that matter, is none of your business."

"Maybe, but-"

"No, no, no. There's no maybe." My voice was now raised, and people were beginning to abandon their conversations to listen to me. "You stay out of my business. If I want to date James, that's my choice, and I can't tiptoe around Jacob's feelings. He left _me,_ and it's been years. If he still has feelings, that's something he needs to deal with. Or maybe," I paused and stepped closer to her, "maybe you could help Jacob get over me."

Amelia's eyes widened slightly, and she opened her mouth to say something; however, I wasn't done yet. I leaned forward. "Then again, if he still has feelings for me, you must not be very good in bed."

Stepping away from her, I smirked at her dumbfounded face. I had been so busy yelling at Amelia, I hadn't noticed that Jacob had come over. "Renesmee. That's enough."

No, no it wasn't enough. I was furious. And I was hurt. And maybe a teensy bit jealous. I was furious at Jacob for telling Amelia about our relationship, about me. I had thought I had meant more to him than a discussion for the bedroom. I was furious at Amelia for thinking she was the third member in our relationship. Why the fuck would she think that she had any right to talk to me about my private relationship, even if Jacob had told her? Amelia also pissed me off because she _confronted_ me. If Jacob had a problem, he should be the one to do it. He doesn't need you to take care of his issues, honey. I mean, have you met him?

I was hurt because Jacob _had_ told Amelia. It wasn't just about our relationship. Yes, that angered and upset me, but it was really because he had confided in her. There was once a time where he would come and talk to me about all of his feelings, even when we were in a fight. There were some fights where we would yell and scream at each other, and one of us would storm off. Then, more often than not, Jacob would come to my door and say something like, "Look, I know that we're in a fight, but I need you to not be my girlfriend. I need you to just be my best friend and give me advice as my best friend because you are my best friend." Then he would rant and let all his feelings out. It was what made us so close.

I was also jealous because Amelia was beautiful, and she also cared for him. I was jealous (and a little hurt) because Jacob had slept with her after he had left me. He had chosen to be with her over me, even if it wasn't a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. He had left me and gone to her. Fuck him. And fuck her.

All of these emotions just swirled around inside of me as I yelled at Amelia, and when Jacob told me to stop, they all transferred over to him. "NO, JACOB! Don't tell me that's enough. You told her, Jacob. You. Told. Her. You fucked her, and then you decided to open up to her about our relationship. A relationship that didn't include her!" I turned to him and pushed him in the chest.

He staggered slightly but regained his composure quickly. "Stop acting like a petulant child. You're the one who started this," he hissed.

" _I_ started this? She's the one who confronted me! She's the one who _told_ me to not bring James here because it would hurt you."

"If you don't like it, just leave!" Jacob blew up at me. Breathing hard, Jacob just stared at me.

I closed my mouth and stood up a little straighter. Lowering my voice to a normal pitch, I said, "Fine." I quickly turned around and stormed off. I glanced around for James because it wouldn't be fair to just leave him here. Everyone was looking at me and Jacob with wide eyes, but James was nowhere to be found. I was too upset to stay longer than I had to, so with the hope that he would follow, I kept walking in the direction of the gates.

From behind me, I heard Jacob say, "Seth, go with her. Make sure she gets home safe." Why the fuck would he care?

Seth caught up quickly. He began walking next to me at a leisurely pace for him with his long legs. He didn't say anything, and when I glanced up at him, he appeared to be rather angry. We got into his car, and he started up the engine. As we pulled away from the base, I turned to Seth, my now best friend, to rant. "I can't believe him! Or her! She's such a cu-"

"You know what, Ren? I can't believe you! You had to bring James, didn't you? I told you it wasn't a good idea! Do you know where James even is, Renesmee? He left. He heard you screaming at Amelia about your relationship with Jacob, and he left! You didn't just hurt Jacob today. You hurt your friend. A boy that talked to your friends and family about you, who wanted to know you better, who talked highly of you. You embarrassed him. Hell you embarrassed yourself. Fighting with Amelia like that? I don't get it. She was just looking out for her friend. Any one of the wolves would do the same thing to one of your ex's with the exception of Jacob."

"Yeah, but that's different."

"How, Ren? How? You fought with her because you're perceptive, God help you. You're perceptive, and you were jealous that Jacob had slept with Amelia. That's the only reason."

I was starting to feel really stupid the more Seth talked. "So?" I slid down in the seat and turned to look out the window on my right, away from Seth.

"You had your chance, Ness." His voice was softer now. Seth using my old nickname was his way of telling me that he still cared, but he was still mad. "Jacob told you he still had feelings for you when he returned home. You had your chance to be with him, and you told him no. You can't be upset with him or her because you chose to not be with him."

"Seth?" My voice came out a little choked. My eyes were beginning to moisten. Tears were being threatened.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Seth turn to look at me for a few moments. I knew his brow was creased with concern as he studied my face. "Yeah?"

I sniffled. "He left me to go to war. We could have stayed together, but he broke up with me."

Seth sighed. "I know. He didn't want you to wait for him in case something happened."

Taking a deep breath I said, "But I think I did wait for him… subconsciously, anyway. Then when he came back, I tried to not let him back in, but I did. We slept together that first night, Seth."

I had thought he already knew, but Seth's silence told me otherwise. I continued. "So when I saw her- when I saw Amelia with Jacob, acting the way she was, when I discerned that they had slept together, I couldn't- I can't-"

"Ren-"

"That hurt the most. Knowing that he claimed to have thought of me the whole time he was over there only to find out he had slept with someone else _hurt._ It's really over for us."

Instead of comforting me, Seth said, "You don't know everything. You don't know what you mean to him. It's not over until it's over."


	12. Chapter 11: His Phone Call

**Disclaimer: I don't own Polaroid by Imagine Dragons.**

Chapter 11: His Phone Call

I stood on the edge of the cliff while the wolves played soccer behind me. The edges of my vision was blurred as the soccer ball sailed over the cliff and down into the churning water below. I watched it fall and my body laughed and laughed. Someone came up behind me, and I braced myself for the push that was surely to come. Well, at least the joking shove and quick grab to keep me from going over. It was something Jacob always used to do when we were at the cliff. It bothered him that I stood so close to the edge, and he'd joke that I would fall off and try to scare me at some point. It was weird to be back in this place, a place that made me so happy. I always wanted to return to these moments or make new ones similar to this one, but I was always too afraid. I didn't want these moments to be tainted like most of the memories I had of Jake, with his leaving. I felt him approach closer and shut my eyes.

 _I'm a reckless mistake. I'm a cold night's intake. I'm one night too long. I'm a come on too strong._

My eyes flashed open when _Polaroid_ by Imagine Dragons started to play. At the same time, my body jerked, throwing me over the edge. I flailed wildly before my face and body made contact with something soft and warm.

I fully yanked myself from sleep and twisted over onto my back. The song was still playing, and it was finally dawning on me that my phone was ringing. Why I had chosen that song to play as my ring tone? I don't know. I was regretting it now, though. I loved Imagine Dragons way too much for me to wake up to it. Looking over at the clock, I removed my phone from where it was charging on my night stand. 2:42. _In the morning._ Sweet Jesus. This better be good.

Without looking at the caller ID, I groggily answered the call. "Hello?" I wanted to say something snarky such as "You better be dead and dying. If not, you will be after calling this early" but I was way too tired to pull out all the stops of my personality.

No one answered my half-hearted greeting. "Hellooooo? If this is some joke, I'm not laughing. You better get me to start laughing, though." I sat up straighter in my bed as I became more angry and confused. What the hell? Who is this? I was about to pull my phone away when I became aware of heavy breathing on the other end of the line.

My breath caught. I knew that breathing. I had years of hearing him breathe heavily like that. After we would race each other in the woods. After we would laugh and laugh and laugh over something that wasn't even funny. After he would wrestle with the other wolves. After we would fight. After we would make love.

There was no doubt in my mind that it was Jacob on the other end of the line, but I couldn't figure out why his breathing was different than any of those other times. Why his breathing sounded panicked and frightened.

Everything that had happened the day before. All of the fighting and resentment, it all disappeared as I became worried for Jacob and what was happening. "Jacob?" I asked tentatively as if I was afraid to scare him off.

" _Ness."_ He said the word as if it was the only thing that kept him from flying away in the wind, as if it anchored him to the Earth. Then he groaned. It was the groaning of a man in pain, but also contained some relief in it.

My fingers absentmindedly moved into my hair and began to play with the strands. "Yes." It came out at a level barely above a whisper.

"Ness….Ness…Ness." He simply repeated my name over and over again. I didn't interrupt him, just let him continue his mantra. That part of me that knew him better than anyone else, that always knew what he needed when he needed it told me that this was what he needed for the moment.

After he had stopped, I just sat there on the phone listening to his now calm breaths. I paused for a few moments longer and then broke the silence. "Jacob? Are you… are you okay?"

He took a deep shuddering breath, and I pressed my phone closer to my ear. There was a part of me that wanted to be there for him and wished that I was. Then there was another part of me that was thankful I wasn't there, so I didn't have to see him like this. "Ness- Renesmee, I should explain…" He paused, telling me that this was difficult for him.

I calmly told him, "You don't have to. All I need to know is that you're alright."

"I'm alright." He said the words, but his voice was dead and held none of the emotion that would make those words true.

"Jacob, please don't lie to me."

"I'm not. If you're alright, I'm alright."

With that, he hung up. Talk about cryptic. I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at it as if it would suddenly spring to life and tell me what the hell was going on. Finding no answer, I reached over and plugged it back into my charger. I laid back down and tried to go back to sleep.

* * *

3:01 AM.

It had been ten minutes since Jacob had hung up and I had tried to go back to sleep, yet all I had done is stared at the ceiling and replayed everything I had heard from Jacob during that phone call in my head. He most definitely was _not_ alright. Goddamn him.

I could still hear Claire breathing deeply as she slept. Apparently the phone call hadn't even caused her to stir. I quietly climbed out of bed, and grabbing my phone and keys, exited our dorm room. I was still wearing my pajamas and had no shoes or makeup on, but at that moment, I didn't care. Getting on the elevator, I called a "family friend" that specialized in tracing cell phones and asked him to trace Jacob's. He gave me the address, which I instantly recognized. Thanking him, I hung up the phone and continued off the elevator towards the location of my car.

* * *

Thirty minutes later I arrived at Billy's house, thanks to no traffic and driving at 100mph. I pulled my car up to the garage, hoping it was empty because I knew it was going to hail tonight. Getting out of my car, I went to open the garage and found it pleasantly empty except for Jacob's motorcycle. After placing my car into the garage and locking the garage door, I sloshed my way up towards the house, which stood about 500 feet up a hill from the garage. The ground was always wet and muddy on this hill, and it didn't help that it had started to rain. Not bothering to go around and enter through the front, I ran up the back porch steps and slid the door open. I silently cursed Jacob and Billy for never locking the back door.

I began to wipe my feet on the mat when a towel hit my face. "What the fu-" I caught myself before I could finish swearing, in case it was Billy that threw the towel.

I was surprised to find that Rachael was sitting on the couch with Paul. Both of them stared as if I had just walked off of an alien spaceship and gave birth to its spawn on the door mat. I mean I know it's surprising that I'm here, but I'm not that much of a stranger, am I?

Not bothering to give them an explanation, I wiped the water and mud from my bare feet and legs and muttered "Thanks," before throwing the towel into the open laundry room door and stalking off down the hall.

As I came to Jacob's door, I heard Rachael whisper to Paul. "Why is she here? And how did she even know _he_ was here?" Paul simply shushed her as I quietly turned the knob and eased the door open.

Silent as a mouse, or should I say vampire, I slid in and shut the door behind me. I could see Jacob's prone body lying on his too small twin bed. My mind quickly flashed back to a time when we had talked about getting an apartment together one day with a California King bed just so Jake could somewhat fit.

I was about to go and try to wake him up gently, but then I thought "What the fuck?" so I reopened the door and slammed it shut. Jacob sat up in bed faster than I had ever seen. Before I had time to realize I had made a huge mistake, I was pinned against the wall by Jacob's massive form. His pupils took up the entirety of his eyes, and he was breathing the same way he had been on the phone.

Thanking God for my half-vampire strength, I yanked my arm out from under his hand and flicked his forehead with my free hand. "Let go of me, idiot."

Sudden dawning crossed Jacob's face, and he gently lowered me to the ground. "Ren, I'm so… I'm so sorry. I was suddenly back in that place…" He took a shuddering breath and covered his face with his hands.

I remember the PTSD, the night terrors, all of it now. It had only been a couple of weeks. How could I forget so quickly? I felt like slapping myself for not seeing it sooner. The phone call. He must have called me after a night terror, and then here I come and wake him up like a bitch. Stupid, stupid, Ren.

"Jacob, I'm sorry. I didn't think when I woke you up like that."

Jacob moved his hands and lifted his head. He grimaced and said, "It's okay. At least you didn't wake me up from a night terror again. I was completely myself this time. I just reacted and didn't register it was you. Last time, I didn't even see you. I was still dreaming."

He moved back to his bed and sat down. "Why are you here?" His eyebrows furrowed while he tried to put two and two together to get four. What he didn't know is that two and two made five with my logic tonight.

I sat down gingerly next to him, and simply replied, "You weren't alright."

"I meant it when I said that if you were alright, I'm alright."

I sighed. "I know, but, Jacob, when you're going through something like this, I'm not alright. If you're not alright, I'm not."

The corner of Jacob's mouth quirked up sadly, but he still chuckled. "Vicious circle, I guess."

"It would appear so." I reached out and pushed back the strands of his hair that had gotten long and fell over his forehead.

I wanted so desperately to be here for this man, to take care of him. I was starting to realize that no matter what had happened when he left and after he left, I wasn't going to be able to love him any less. I didn't think I was ready to be part of a relationship with him again, but I don't think I could live without him again, either. Besides, he needed me to help him get through this, to heal from this.

"Jac-"

He cut me off, and grabbed my hand in both of his. "I know. I heard." I realized my hand still lingered on his forehead. I must've inadvertently transferred my thoughts. "Do you think…" He looked down at our hands. "Do you think that one day you could ever really forgive me for leaving and for… for having sex with Amelia?"

I took a sharp intake of breath. "I'm not sure. I'd like to say yes, but right now, I'm still hurt by it all."

Jacob nodded solemly. "I'll never forgive myself for those years I spent without you, but I'll never regret loving you either."

"Do you think I regret loving you, Jake?" He simple shrugged. "Stop that. Jacob Black, I have not stopped loving you since the day I laid eyes on you. Even if I don't forgive you for these past few years, I'm never going to stop loving you, so stop thinking that I felt as if I made a mistake in loving you because I didn't.

"And if there's one thing that I know for sure, it's that I'm going to get you through this. We're going to get you through this. You're not alone, Jake. You're here, with me, in your father's house. You're safe. The pack is safe. You're family is safe. I'm safe." Jacob slowly brought his eyes up to meet mine. What I saw there was fear mixed with pure love and admiration. I whispered "You may not be alright right now, but you're going to be okay, Jake. I won't let you slip through the cracks."

I reached up and kissed his cheek while stroking his hair. He still looked so vulnerable that it made me want to crack in two.

"Ren, will you stay for the rest of the night?"

I nodded, and he laid back down, making room for me by pressing himself into the wall. Squeezing next to him, I relished in his warmth. "Good night, Ren."

"Good night, Jake." I whispered. "And Jake?"

"Hmm?" I could tell he was starting to fall back asleep. It never took him long to fall asleep next to me.

"I'd prefer it if you started calling me Ness again." I don't know what made me say those words, but even with all the fighting that I knew we still needed to talk about, I finally felt as if our relationship was healing.

The last thing I heard before Jake and I fell asleep was a contented, affirmative rumbling.


	13. Chapter 12: His Room

Chapter 12: His Room

I woke up to someone yelling. It was very unpleasant.

"Jake! Man, where are you? It's 10 in the morning! You're late for shooting practice!"

The only thing that made it more unpleasant was that I recognized the voice as Amelia's. What the fuck was she doing here at… wait did she say 10? Fuck, I was late for class.

I bolted up in bed and made to stand up, but a strong pair of arms pulled me back down. "Nooooo." Jake moaned behind me. "It's too early."

"Jake, I'm late for class. It's 10. And that bitch, Amelia, is here to pick you up, I presume." My voice took on a mocking tone towards the end.

Jake sat me up with him this time. "It's 10? Wow. I don't remember the last time I slept in like this. And Amelia's not a bitch, Ness. I know you don't like her because-" I gave him a warning look. "Because of our history, but, Ness, it's over. I'm not asking you to like her, but I still have to work with her. Whether either one of us likes it or not, she's a part of my life right now. So, just be cordial with her, please. You don't need to talk to her or anything, but don't be deliberately rude. Can you do that?"

"I'll try, but no promises. If she starts something…" I waved my hands around.

Jake leaned in and kissed my cheek. "Thanks. And I'll talk to her, too." I rolled my eyes at him.

Right then, Amelia burst into Jake's room. "Hey, Ja-" She paused and her eyes widened as she took in both of us in Jake's bed underneath his blanket. "Oh, sorry. I didn't realize I was interrupting."

Jake got up quickly leaving my back chilled without his heat. "No worries. I didn't mean to sleep in. Sorry about not meeting you at the range." Jake went over to the pile of clothes that was near his closet for a clean shirt. I couldn't help but notice that Amelia watched his bare back too closely.

She took a step closer. "How can you even tell what's clean in that pile?"

"This is what he's been doing for years. Got a good sniffer." I tapped my nose. Both Jake and I laughed at my joke. Amelia who wasn't aware of Jake's wolfish tendencies looked confused.

"What?"

I shook my head. "Don't worry about it." Jake looked over his shoulder and I gave him a genuine smile. He smiled back.

"I love it when you smile. I missed that." I smiled broader, and Amelia coughed.

"Okay, if you two are done being sappy, Jake let's go." She shot a look in my direction, and my smile faded.

I must've had a murderous look on my face because Jake quickly came over, putting his body between me and Amelia. Smart guy.

He started giving me puppy dog eyes, and I felt the corners of my mouth turn up. _I want to hurt her._ I mouthed the words, and Jake's eyes narrowed.

 _Don't._ He mouthed back, and I rolled my eyes.

"Will I see you later?" This time he spoke out loud.

"Later?" He knew I hated it when he said that instead of a more specific time.

"Tonight. After I'm done with our exercises? Sometime around 7?"

"Yeah, I'll be here." I smiled at him again.

His brows furrowed. "You're not going to school?"

I looked at the alarm clock on the window sill behind me. "Well, considering there's only about 30 minutes left of my last class for the day, and it will take me at least 45 minutes to get there… no."

"Okay. Have fun. Mi casa es su casa." His accent was completely American, and I had to giggle. "Shut up. I never really learned Spanish. High school drop-out, remember?"

I brought my hand up to the side of his face, and he leaned his head into my palm, much like a dog would.

"I'll see you tonight, okay? You better go." I glanced behind him at Amelia who had a scowl on her face. "We'll talk."

"We could do more than just talk." Jake raised his eyebrows suggestively.

I pushed him away. "Don't push it, Jacob." He simply shrugged, and left with Amelia, winking at me.

I stood up after about a half hour of scrolling through Facebook while lying in Jake's bed. When I finally felt ready to get up, I grabbed a towel from the closet and went to take a shower. I passed Rachel in the hallway.

"Hey, Rach. How are you?"

"Hi, Ren. I'm fine. How are you?"

"Good." She was still staring at me as I closed the bathroom door behind me. I guess I was going to have to explain last night to her. Great.

After a too-quick, hot shower, I retreated back into Jake's room. I went into the bottom drawer of his dresser. It used to be my drawer with some of his clothes from before he went wolf. Small enough to fit me, but big enough that it was still my boyfriend's clothes. To my pleasant surprise, the drawer hadn't changed. I quickly pulled on an old wife beater with oil stains and some sweats.

Then, I thought about what I would do for the rest of the day. I needed to talk to Rach and Billy and probably Paul, but that could wait until lunch, leaving me an hour. I decided to clean up Jake's room. I separated the pile of clothes in front of his closet. Clean clothes I dropped on the bed to be hung up, and the dirty were put in a pile by the door. I cleaned up the discs that were scattered on Jake's. CDs and DVDs went back into their cases on the shelf above his stereo. The Xbox discs I placed back into their cases under his TV, next to the game consul. Then I went about putting his clothes back into his closet and dresser. I stripped the bed and threw the sheets with the dirty clothes. Finally I dusted the top of his bed stand and dresser.

I looked around, satisfied with my work. I figured I should go out and talk to Jake's family now, so I grabbed the pile of laundry and headed out to face the wolves.


	14. Chapter 13: His Family

Chapter 13: His Family

After throwing Jake's laundry in the washing machine, I went into the kitchen to find Billy sitting at the table looking over some papers. It looked like they were medical bills. I made a mental note to call Carlisle and see if there was anything he could do. I knew that the Blacks didn't have a lot of money and didn't have great medical insurance. Unfortunately, they also didn't like when I or my family tried to help out, not that we needed our money. Plus, I was basically family, so what was the problem?

"Afternoon, Billy!" He looked up as I strode into the room and gave him a hug.

He chuckled and hugged me back. "Hey, sweetie. It's so good to see you." He gave me a knowing look.

I narrowed my eyes at him and gave him an annoyed look. It was still playful, though, so he laughed. "Nothing happened. I just slept over like old times."

"Like old times, huh? I seem to remember some "sleeping" over you did for a year before Jake left." He made air quotes with his fingers. "Also, I seem to recall your parents didn't know either."

"And they're never going to know." I playfully shoved his shoulder. "I'm talking old, old times, Billy, before things became… intimate." This conversation was awkward, but at the same time I'd rather have this conversation with Billy than with any of my family. Billy was a lot like Jake in the way he joked around, and even though he was my grandfather's age, he was more like a fun uncle to me.

I decided to change the subject. "Do you want lunch? Bologna and cheese sandwich with mayo?"

"Yes, please. Make sure you eat, too." I rolled my eyes. "And why did you come over so late last night? Rach said you arrived at about 3:30 in the morning." So much for changing the subject.

"Jake-" I was cut off by Paul and Rachel entering the kitchen.

"Well, well, well if it isn't the ole booty call Nessie back again." Paul smirked. Rachel slapped him eliciting an "ow" from Paul who rubbed his arm. "You know for a human, you sure know how to hurt a man, babe."

"Don't call her that, and I won't hurt you. It's nice to have you around again, Ren. Can I give you a hand with lunch?"

I gave Paul a sweet smile and replied to Rachel. "Sure, but only if I can make Paul's sandwich." Paul frowned and his eyebrows creased.

"I'm not hungry, actually."

I scoffed. "Yeah, right. Don't worry, I won't put anything that will kill you in it." Billy burst into laughter.

"Better watch out, son."

Rachel and I turned away from the boys and began prepping lunch. "So, why did you come here so early this morning?"

I shrugged. "He called last night, and I was worried because of how he sounded."

"He sounded broken." It wasn't a question.

I looked up at her. She had a couple inches on me, but what do you expect with a short girl? She had a sympathetic, sad look that told me she had seen Jake when he was like that, and she understood how it felt for me to see him like that. It seemed neither one of us liked to see him like that. I looked back down at the cheese in front of me.

"Yeah. I couldn't just go back to sleep after he called."

I felt her place her hand on my shoulder. "If anyone can help him, it's you." I was so surprised at her sweet words that I let the knife slip and cut my finger. Blood welled almost instantly, and it stung like a bitch.

"Dammit!"

Rachel reacted quickly, grabbing a towel and handing it to me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen."

"I know. It's okay. Just give it a few minutes, and it should heal itself." I smiled at her.

"Maybe, but not as fast as us wolves," Paul boasted.

I stuck my tongue out at him, making him and Billy laugh again. I turned back to Rachel. "I hope I can help him."

She nodded. "You can. C'mon let's eat."

* * *

We had finished eating, and were having a perfectly pleasant conversation when Jake burst through the front door, the rest of the unit right behind him.

"What happened?!" His eyes roamed each of us until he found me. "Are you okay?!"

At this point, I was uber confused. "Fine, wh-"

Paul spoke up. "Took you long enough to get here, bro. I mean seriously."

Jake shot him a look that could kill, and Paul held up his hands in defeat. Then he was right by me. "Hey," he said breathlessly. Grabbing the hand I had cut earlier, he ordered, "Let me see."

"How-" I looked at Billy, Rachel, and Paul and who all shook their heads or shrugged their shoulders, but they knew something that they weren't telling. I narrowed my eyes at them and scrunched up my nose then turned back to Jake who was inspecting my hand as if it was the cure to cancer. "Jake, how did you know that I hurt my hand?"

Jake froze. His widened eyes slowly moved up to meet mine. "I, uh, I-" He looked at his unit who looked about as confused as I felt. "We'll talk about this later." He tried to move away, and I grabbed his forearm.

For the first time since that first night, I used my gift on him. _Meaning it's supernatural. But you won't tell me later will you._

Jake did nothing except continue to move away from me. He didn't acknowledge my gift, so I knew that whatever he was hiding from me, he really didn't want me to know. Jake always loved when I used my gift, and knowing that I didn't use it anymore, my using it right now probably made him ecstatic. However, he hide his enthusiasm.

"Ness, make us lunch since we're here? I miss your cooking." He smiled. It was one I loved and that made most women drop their panties.

I stood up, grabbed the loaf of bread, threw it at him, and said, "Make it yourself, bitch."

As I stormed out of the room, I heard Paul whistle low and Billy say, "I think you'll be sleeping outside tonight..."


	15. Chapter 14: His Ability

Chapter 14: His Ability

Jake didn't follow me into his bedroom where I collapsed on his bed. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to or not. I guess I only really wanted him to follow me if he was going to tell me the truth. This whole situation had been a problem for as long as I had known him. I'm not talking about honesty in general. Jake had always told me the truth if I asked.

Except with this.

Whenever I hurt myself, Jake showed up if he wasn't already there. There was this one time where I had broken my toe running into a wall, and I had trouble walking on it for a couple weeks. Jake limped around, same as me, as if he had also broken a toe. It had always been this way. No one seemed to understand the pain I went through more than him. This also held true for emotions. Jake could always tell what mood I was in. I had always played it off as him being my best friend and knowing me the best, but this didn't explain how he knew when I was physically hurt. It didn't make sense.

I had decided to ask him about it after we started dating, and Jake just brushed it off as knowing me well and having a sixth sense. I never believed him, so I kept asking. Eventually, he just started ignoring the question. Then I went to the rest of the pack and asked them because they all shared a mind, so they must know. The only problem there was they told me they couldn't say anything. And what does that mean? Jake, their alpha, had _ordered_ them to not tell me. I asked my family, and they all said they had no idea what I was talking about while giving each other suspicious looks. The last people I asked were the humans that hung around the pack which included the imprints, Emily, Kim and Rachel, and family, Sue and Billy. They all told me that Jake had to tell me.

Bastards. All of them.

Even Claire, who turned out to be Quil's imprint, knew now. It was like "oh, you're an imprint now? Yeah you can know what Jake's deal is with Ness, but you can't tell her. You have to promise." I approached Claire about it after it was revealed that she was Quil's imprint at the beginning of the school year.

" _So, you're an imprint, now?" I rocked on my toes as I watched Claire unpack her stuff._

 _She turned around and smiled. "Yeah. I never thought that Quil would ever return the feelings I had for him. I mean he took care of me as a toddler and child. He watched me grow up for years. I could never figure out why he would stick around for a dumb kid like me." She paused and gave me a weird look. "I mean with you and Jake, he was your Mom's best friend, so he was around." She said quickly while gauging my facial expressions. "Then I started growing to like him as more than a friend, ya know."_

 _I laughed. "Of course, I know, Claire. You talked about it all the time, remember?"_

" _Yeah. Thanks for being there, by the way." She giggled. "When I finally told him how I felt, thanks to you and he told me that he had been waiting to hear that for so long, that I was his imprint, it all made sense."_

" _That's great, Claire. I'm happy for you." I twirled my hair around my finger._

 _Claire sighed and put her hands on her hips. "What is it?"_

" _How did Jake know-"_

 _Claire groaned. "Please, please don't ask me about that. I can't tell you. Actually, I'm surprised you asked at all. That's the first time you've asked about him since he left." She looked at me pointedly._

 _I closed my mouth quickly and turned away. "Nevermind, then."_

That was the last time I had asked because I never thought I would have Jake part of my life again. I began running through all the possibilities like I had a thousand times before. The only option that made any kind of sense was that Jacob was psychic. He must just know that I'm hurt and others as well, but I'm his best friend and he loves me. That must be why he only comes when I hurt.

I had read this trilogy once about werewolves. In it, there were humans that had "knacks" or special abilities. One could control animals, one could evade the power of other knacks, one controlled emotions, etc. Jake must have a "knack." The more I thought about it the more plausible it seemed. I mean there were werewolves and vampires, so why couldn't humans have some supernatural gifts as well. It was obviously rare, but even my mom had been gifted. My dad had never been able to read her mind and other vampires' powers were useless against her as a human. It only became stronger when she turned into a vampire. I wonder if this was true with all gifted vampires, if they, too, had had some less powerful version of their abilities as humans. Jacob must have had this ability before he was a werewolf and his supernatural half amplified it. It only made sense.

I was becoming drowsier and drowsier as I laid in Jacob's bed. I kept thinking about my revelation and how I was going to confront Jacob about his ability when I finally drifted off to sleep

My hair was pushed away from my face by warm fingers that continued their journey through my hair. The movement was repeated a few more times before one of those fingers traced around my ear and down my jaw line. Finally I opened my eyes and found Jake with a soft expression on his face. The corner of his mouth lifted slightly as he said, "Hey."

"What are you doing? What time is it?" My voice came out scratchy.

"I, uh, took the rest of the day off after how mad you got earlier, and I went out to get you a s'mores cupcake from the Wolf and Dough Bakery." He lifted the familiar pink pastry box that held the delicious cupcake. I felt myself subconsciously lick my lips, and Jacob laughed. "I take it I'm forgiven?" He lifted his eyebrows hopefully.

I sat up and grabbed the box. Jacob's smile faded as I placed the box on the bed next to me and looked back to him. "Jake, can I ask you something?"

He searched my face for some clue as to what I would ask, but must not have found anything because he still looked suspicious when he said, "You can ask me anything, Ness." He brushed the back of his hand down my cheek.

I played with my hands in my lap, twisting the ring on my left, middle finger every so often. "And you'll answer honestly?"

"Of course, baby." I shot him an exasperated look. "Sorry."

"Jake, I think I know why you know when I hurt myself, and-"

He cut me off. "You do? Ness, I- I'm sorry. I understand if you're freaked out. I should've told you ages ago, and I just-" I held up my hand, and he stopped ranting. He looked terrified of what I would say next, so I took a deep breath.

"Yeah, and, Jake, I just want to know why you didn't tell me? I mean we're best friends. I'll love you no matter what!"

His fear turned to something close to happiness. "So you-"

"Jake! Let me finish, please." When he didn't say anything, I continued. "You're psychic. So, what? Did you think I would judge you or love you any less?"

Jake shook his head. "Wait, what?"

"You're psychic."

Jake stared at me for another moment before bursting into laughter. "Yeah, Ness, I'm psychic." He sounded sarcastic.

"Are you saying you're not?"

He stopped laughing and looked at me hard for a second. "Well, what do you think?"

"I just told you! You're a psychic! It's the only explanation."

"Well, if it's the only explanation." He gave me an amused look.

I finally smiled, content with his answer. "Why didn't you just tell me, doofus?!" I smacked him in the arm. He raised his hand to cover where I had "injured" him, but it was just a reflex. Jake didn't say anything in response, only shrugged.


	16. Chapter 15: Her Mom

Chapter 15: Her Mom

Jake and I decided to spend the afternoon playing his Xbox. He let me choose what game we played, but when I held up Call of Duty, he tensed and nodded. I put it back down, and began searching through his other games. I didn't want to add to any of his stress.

"Ness, it's okay. I'm going to have to get over this at some point. You love killing the zombies on Black Ops. Let's just play." Jake tried to get me to change my mind.

I shook my head, and crawled over to where he sat with his legs crossed on the floor. I hesitated briefly before climbing into his lap and hugging him. I whispered, "You're not ready, Jake, and that's okay. When you're ready we'll play."

Jake's arms came up and hugged me close to him, burrowing his face into my neck and breathing deeply. It was a rather intimate position, but I reminded myself that we were best friends first always and pushed away that warm feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"So, what are we going to play then?"

I removed myself from Jake's arms. "Umm, how about Need for Speed?"

Jake laughed and reached for the controller. "I'm gonna kick that sweet ass of yours."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "No, you're-" I was cut off by my phone ringing.

I went for my phone on the bed and managed to grab it just as Jake grabbed my leg and pulled me back down to the floor.

"Hello?" I was half laughing because Jake started tickling me.

"Renesmee, sweetie?" My mom's musical voice danced on the other end of the line.

I quickly sat up straight and pushed Jake's hand away. He gave me a questioning glance, so I raised my eyebrows and said, "Hey, Mom." Jake's eyes widened and he stopped messing around. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to check up on you because Alice wasn't able to see you starting in the middle of the night last night and hasn't been able to see you since. The last thing she saw was you driving to La Push. Is everything okay?"

Alice had expanded her power to include me over the years. She had always been able to see humans and vampires. She hadn't been able to see me, a hybrid, at first, but eventually she was able to adapt to me. However, she still couldn't see the wolves, so my family always knew when I was hanging out with the wolves.

I normally only hung out with the wolves for a night at most. Any longer and I would call my parents to let them know where I was, and I never went to La Push in the middle of the night. I understood that this looked very suspicious. The only other problem with this situation was that my parents didn't know much about Jake and I's relationship.

They, of course, had known about us dating while I was in high school, but since they had been living up in Alaska with the Denali Coven for about 5 years, they didn't know the extent of that relationship. I had never told any of them, even my mom, that Jake and I had been sexually active. They knew about Jake leaving for war and him breaking up with me, but that was the last they had heard. Let's just say they weren't happy with that situation at all. Maybe that's why I never told them that Jake had returned, and now that we were friends again, I knew everyone was going to throw a fit.

I could see it now. All eight of them would drive down here. Carlisle and Esme would try to calm down the rest of them to no avail. Jasper would use his gift to send Jake the hurt and pain I had felt after he had left. Alice would smile sweetly and threaten to castrate him with a sugary voice. Emmett would probably just go after him which would result in Jake getting hurt. And finally, let's face it, my mom, dad, and Rosalie would skip the threatening and tackling and just rip his head off.

I had spaced out and my mom was trying to get my attention. "Sweetheart, what's wrong? Is it Charlie? Do we need to come home? Renesmee?"

"No, Mom, Grandpa's fine. Everyone's fine. I do, um, have something to tell you, and I don't think you're going to like it."

I could hear her take a breath, not that she needed it to survive. "Okay."

I began twirling my hair with my finger. It was starting to become a nervous habit. I looked at Jake who was watching me intently. I could feel myself calm down a bit as I looked at him. "Jacob's back."

There was silence on the other end of the line for a solid two minutes then, "Are you with him now?"

"Mom-"

"Is he with you now?" She sounded pissed. I don't know why. Well, I do. As I said earlier, none of them were happy when Jake left and broke my heart, but I mean it's not like I had told her we were back together.

"Yes, Mom, he's here, but before you say anything, I want you to know that he needs me, Mom. I'm not back together with him. We're just friends. Let's face it, we'll always be best friends. I already gave him the second degree. He's been back for weeks, and I just agreed to be his friend again last night."

"Weeks?" Her voice was gradually getting louder. "And you didn't tell me? What happened to our open relationship, Ren? You used to tell me everything. And where was he when you needed him, hm? He _left_ you, Renesmee. I don't care if he's got some, stupid claim on you-"

Jake's hearing was good enough that he could hear my mom. He visibly flinched and his face turned downcast when my mom mentioned his leaving. I gave him a look that said "stop that" but he just shrugged.

"Oh, c'mon, Mom. I don't tell you everything." I said

"Oh?" Well, shit. I didn't mean for this conversation to go this way. "And what haven't you told me, Renesmee?"

"Mom, let's not, please."

"No, I want you to be honest with me and tell me stuff, and I don't want you to be around Jake."

"Mom, I'm nineteen. I'm allowed to have my own life, you know. I can choose what I want to keep to myself and who I want to hang out with."

"Fine." She hung up.

I widened my eyes at Jake. He watched me cautiously, and when I removed the phone from my ear, he asked, "What?"

"She hung up on me." My hand fell the rest of the way to my lap. "My _mom_ actually hung up on me. Oh, shit. I can't believe she hung up on me." My voice started to get squeaky.

Jake leaned over and pushed my hair out of my face. "It'll be okay. Your mom loves you, and you guys have a good relationship. It's just a fight."

"She didn't want me to even see you." I looked down.

"Yeah, I know. Thanks by the way."

I looked up at him. "For what?"

"For loving me enough to not give up on me or our friendship." His thumb swiped across my cheekbone.

"I could never give up on you, Jake. Now, let's kick your ass in this game."


	17. Chapter 16: Her Disobedience

Chapter 16: Her Disobedience

My blue race car sped across the finish line of our 20th lap at the same time Jake's red one did. Jake dropped his controller onto the ground and stood up with his hands fisted in the air above him. He looked down at me with a broad grin spread across his face. "Damn, you're good, but not good enough to beat me!" He laughed.

I stood up quickly, abandoning my controller on the floor. I placed my hands on my hips and frowned up at him. His grin turned into a smirk as he waited for me to say something. "You." I poked him in the chest. "Did." Another poke. "NOT" Another poke, harder this time. "Win." One final poke brought me flush against him, and my head tilted all the way back as I glared into his eyes which shone.

Jake raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"

"No!" I waggled my finger in his face. "Look!" I pointed back at the screen where a replay of the end of the race was occurring. "We crossed at the same time."

"Sure, sure." He shrugged, eliciting an eye roll from me.

Jake's smirk grew large enough to show teeth. I couldn't help but notice that his canines were more pointed than most, alluding to the beast that was just under his skin. I had the sudden desire to see his inner wolf let out. The last time I had seen the russet creature was before he was deployed. I could remember the way the red in his fur came out when the few streaks of sun caught it through the trees of the forest, and the way he had moved in his second skin, his body so at ease but held such power. I remembered the course, thick fur that he would rub against me or that I would bury my hands into. It had always felt soft to me, but not to others. I remembered the gleaming, pointed teeth that shined every time he would smile in his wolf form. I remembered running my fingers along them once, and he opened his jaw to jokingly close them around my fingers because they played too close to something dangerous…

A sudden pressure enclosed itself around my index finger, and I yelped. My vision focused to find Jake staring down at me, his teeth were closed around my finger. I realized that I must've subconsciously reached up and ran my fingers across his teeth. His _human_ teeth.

I pulled my finger towards me gently, and Jake let go. I lowered my hand slowly, but maintained his gaze which was smoldering might I add. We continued to look into each other's eyes with such intensity that I could feel heat pass between us, and I'm not talking about physical heat. I hadn't realized how close we were moving towards each other until my phone began to ring. He had leaned down and I had stretched up to the point where our breath mingled.

I stepped away, turning my head down and to the side before moving to grab my phone from where it lay on the floor next to our controllers. I heard Jake sigh behind me. It sounded sad and made my chest ache for something that was ancient history: an easy, uncomplicated relationship with Jake.

I answered my phone without looking at it and turned to face Jake. "Hello?"

"Ren!" Seth's chipper voice on the other end brought a smile to my face, and I giggled. I thought I heard a growl rumble out of Jake, but when I looked over at him, he wasn't looking at me but out the window.

I rolled my eyes in frustration at the secrets that I knew hung between us, and then let it go. "Seth! Hey! What's up?!" I could hear background noise that told me he was in a car, but I couldn't discern anything else.

"Where are you, gorgeous?!" Another grunt from Jake's direction. I ignored it. "Quil and I went to your dorm to pick you and Claire up, but Claire said that she woke up and you weren't here. Everything okay?"

I allowed myself a small smile for sweet Seth. "Yeah. Everything's good. Actually, things are looking up." I was still watching Jake for any reactions, and he looked up at that. He bit his lip as he tried to figure out what I meant. It was sexier than I wanted to admit. "Why were you guys going to pick us up?"

"Well, it's sunny out for once in the Push, and we want to go cliff diving. You want to join?"

"Hell, yes!" Cliff diving was one of my favorite things to do after Jake left. I loved the feeling of flying, if only for a few minutes, before being surrounded by the salty tang of the ocean. The next best thing was swimming around for a while after getting done with feeling my heart drop to my stomach.

"Sweet! Where are you? We'll come pick you up!"

I brought my eyes up from where they had been analyzing Jake's torso to look at his face. His eyes were narrowed in my direction, and he was pouting. I gave him an exasperated look and said, "I'm in La Push actually. I'll meet you there. What's your ETA?"

"Half hour. Why are you there?" Seth sounded completely confused.

Instead of answering him seriously, I decided to mess with him. "Well," I purred. "I'm waiting for you…in your bed…wearing absolutely nothing… too bad you're with Quil and Claire, or we could have some fun…"

Seth burst into laughter on the other end of the line. "I'm not opposed to you jumping without clothes on."

"Ha. Ha. You wish." Seth laughed again and hung up.

While talking to Seth, I had paced out into the hallway. I returned to Jake's bedroom to find the mirror that hung above Jake's dresser shattered from a single point. A couple of shards had fallen onto the dresser, and Jake stood in front of dresser, his hands braced on the edge of it. Blood dripped off of Jake's right knuckles and onto the dresser. There was enough of it that it spilled down over the edge. It looked more vicious than I knew it was, but it didn't stop me from freaking out any less.

"Jake!" I rushed over and picked up his cut hand. He tried to pull it away, but I held on. "What the hell were you doing? Did you have a… flashback or something?"

"No." His tone was harsh, and unwelcoming.

I looked up at him, but didn't say anything. I inspected his hand which was healing, thanks to his wolf half. I raised his hand up to my mouth and sucked off the blood from his knuckles in order to see the wounds more clearly. I heard Jake take in a sharp breath.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." I looked over his knuckles again. The wounds were now just light pink lines. "You're going to live. You wanna tell me why you punched the mirror?" Jake looked up at me, and I saw pain in his eyes. I softened my facial features. "Jake?" He shook his head.

And changed the subject.

"We can go to the cliffs to hang out, but you're not diving." He said it the way I imagined my over-protective Dad would have said it.

"Exsqueeze me, bitch?" I gave him a slightly amused look, but inside I wanted to put Jake's _head_ through the mirror for acting like this.

Jake looked exasperated. "No. Don't be cute, Ness. It's too dangerous. I don't want you to get hurt." He turned away from me. "And I don't want the guys to see you in wet clothes." The last part was said below a whisper. It was low enough that I wasn't sure he had said it.

I walked over to Jake and yanked him around to face me. "Newsflash: I'm not as breakable as you think, Jake."

"You never used to cliff dive when I asked you not to."

I took a deep breath. "Yeah, but after you left, I decided to try it because it looked like fun. The guys didn't want me to, probably because of you, but I did it anyway, and guess what? I'm still here. I'll be okay."

"No. I won't let you." Jake looked as if he was about to go wolf any second. He was even beginning to tremble.

"Fine. Fine." I held up my hands in surrender. "I won't dive, but we're still going."

Almost instantly Jake's body relaxed as if the idea of my being safe instantly calmed both him and the wolf. "Thank you."

"Let's go." As we headed out to walk to the cliff, I began to wonder how pissed Jake was going to be at me for jumping, regardless of my promise.

* * *

Seth, Quil, and Claire finally joined Jake, the pack and me after what seemed like forever. I ran up and gave Seth a big hug because we hadn't parted on the best terms yesterday. He easily caught me and swung me around as we laughed. I whispered in his ear, "I'm sorry about yesterday."

"It's okay, babe." Seth chuckled. "You were having a rough day."

"It's no excuse." I grumbled.

Seth replied, "You said it, not me," and laughed.

We were still holding on tight to each other when Jake suddenly roared in fury. Seth gently set me down and stepped away from Jake stood, now in wolf form. He immediately became submissive and bowed his head and shoulders with his eyes downcast. Jake took a few steps towards him and jerked his head in the direction of the tree line. Seth quickly scampered away, and the tension hung around me, the rest of the pack, and the imprints as we stood in the clearing next to the cliff.

Just before Jake disappeared I called his name, and he shifted back to human form. "Stay here." His voice was icy cold, and I took a step away from him. I expected Jake's face to soften, but was shocked when it didn't. He looked at Quil and Embry. Claire was locked protectively in Quil's arms as they watched Jake with caution. "Watch her." He jerked his head in my direction. Quil and Embry's eyes slid to me and didn't move. Jake hadn't just told them to watch me. He had _ordered_ them to watch me. Jake never liked to pull rank on the rest of the pack, so whatever was going on, it wasn't good.

As I replayed the scene over and over in my head, I couldn't help but think that Seth had done nothing wrong, and Jake was just overreacting. I began to become furious at Jake. I didn't understand why he couldn't just talk to me. I thought we had made progress last night, but then he goes and acts like a jealous boyfriend. I mean I know Seth and I had gotten closer after Jake left, but we weren't that close. Motherfucker. I was going to kill Jake.

At that moment, every person in the wolf pack and myself cringed as we distantly heard Jake roar at Seth. The humans in the group couldn't hear it because they didn't have the supernatural hearing the rest of us did. "What the fuck do you think you were doing, Seth?! She's _mine!"_

If I was a wolf, my hair would have bristled at what he said. Damn him. I'm not property, and I'm no one's. Jake and I are _friends._ Seth and I are _friends._

"Jake, I would never- _never_ \- do that to you. We're just friends. When you left, she needed someone to be there for her, and we were already friends. I just stepped up and was there for her"

"I wish you guys would stop bringing that up!" Jake growled.

Before he could say anything else, I cupped my hands around my mouth and in a sing-song voice I yelled, "Jaaake! Remember what I promised I wouldn't do?" Silence from the forest. The imprints looked perplexed because they had missed Jake and Seth's conversation. Quil let go of Claire, and Embry and him looked at each other. They were preparing to stop me, I knew.

I smiled at them wickedly and turned back to the forest. "Well, I've decided that I'm going to do it anyway!" Quil and Embry tensed but didn't move when they realized I was waiting. I took off towards the cliff when I heard the wolf crash through the forest in my direction, and thanks to my father's genetics, Quil and Embry couldn't catch me. I flew off the edge of the cliff and began to plummet to the black, cold depths of the ocean below.


	18. Chapter 17: Her Confession

Chapter 17: Her Confession

I slammed into the water, sinking down deep. I let the cool water swish around me as I took my time before surfacing. I felt the water shift and move as Jake (or at least I assumed it was Jake) broke the surface of the water after jumping after me. Motherfucker. It only took about thirty seconds before I felt Jake's hand circle around my left bicep and pull me up. When my head broke above the surface, I was pressed flush against Jake as he held me close. He was breathing heavily and searching my face for any signs of injury. When he found nothing, he breathed a sigh of relief and dropped his head to my shoulder. "Please don't do that again. If you really want to cliff dive, fine. I concede. You can cliff dive, but let me jump with you. Please."

I suddenly felt very small wrapped in his arms as he treaded water. It had really freaked him out when I had jumped. I don't think that I had really understood how much my safety had meant to him until this moment. Until he thought I was going to be hurt. It had scared him enough that he was willing to compromise in a way that let him feel more in control of my safety. I wrapped my arms around his neck and moved closer.

I was suddenly aware of the fact that Jacob was very, very naked. It made sense since he went wolf all of a sudden. I shook my head to clear it of the very dirty thoughts that lingered on the edges. I focused on the problem at hand.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I just couldn't let you keep yelling at Seth like that. He did nothing-"

Jake lifted his head up to look at me. His stony gaze met mine, and I shrunk as far back as his arms allowed. He could be really scary sometimes. "Don't talk to me about Seth right now, Renesmee." When he used my full name, I cringed. I didn't like him using my full name… except in bed, but that was different.

"Nessie. I'm Nessie." I whispered.

His eyes softened and he pulled me closer to him. "I know, but your feelings for Seth-"

"What feelings?"

"You're in love with him."

What. The. Actual. Fuck. Jake thought I was in love with _Seth?_ Oh, sweet Jesus. I gave an incredulous laugh. I couldn't believe this. I shoved away from Jake and swam to the shore. I could feel him hot on my trail. Upon reaching the shore, I stormed along the coast up towards the clearing again.

"Are you going to jump again?" Jake ran to catch up with me. I don't know where he found shorts, but he had them on now.

I glared at him, and said, "No. You're going to apologize to Seth for your behavior."

"Ness-"

" _Apologize._ No discussion. Not if you want to be my friend." I stopped walking and turned to face him. He almost slammed into me, but caught himself. I narrowed my eyes. "Seth and I are _friends_ , Jake. That's it. You and I used to act the same way Seth and I do before we started dating."

"But it wasn't a joke with us, Ness. Never was."

"Fine, but it's just good-natured fun when it comes to me and Seth. Don't believe me use your telepathic wolf thing!" I waved my hands around. "Me and Seth." I snorted. "I can't believe you ever thought that could be a thing."

I wasn't sure which part of what I had said made it through to him, but he gave me a small smile. I turned around and made my way to the clearing with Jake. Once we got there, Jake approached Seth and apologized like I had asked. Seth just nodded. They did their bro hug thing, and Jake turned back to face me. Seth leaned over Jake's shoulder and raised an eyebrow silently asking what had happened, but I said nothing.

I was too cold to say anything.

It wasn't the greatest idea for someone without the heat the wolves had to jump into freezing water in the middle of October. I was definitely shaking. I hadn't realized how cold I really was until I stopped moving, but now, I imagined my lips were blue.

Jake rushed over and made quick work of removing my sopping wet shirt, shoes, and pants. He picked me up bridal style, and said, "C'mon. I'm taking you back to the house. You can borrow some dry clothes." He took off running.

The wind nipped at my skin, a majority of which was now exposed, but it was better than having clothes that froze to my body. Plus, where his chest, arms, and hands pressed against me, I felt perfectly warm and even a little tingly. We arrived at his house within minutes.

He strode in, and embarrassingly enough, Billy sat at the kitchen table. "You couldn't wait to get home to take her clothes off, huh, boy?" Billy chuckled at his joke.

Jake ignored his father and sat me down in a chair before retrieving a blanket from the couch. He wrapped it around me, and said to himself, "You're going to be okay." And then to me, "You're too cold. I'm going to run a hot bath. I'll be back in a second." He pressed a chaste kiss to my forehead, and muttered, "Too cold," before heading to the bathroom.

Billy finally realized that something was wrong. "What happened?"

"I-I-I cl-cl-cl-cli-clif-f-fed…" I couldn't bring myself to finish my sentence, but he got the point.

He reached over and rubbed my arm over the blanket. "Cliff diving in October? What would your dad say?"

"Do-don't"

"I'm not going to call him." Billy anticipated my anxiety when it came to my father. If he had called him, he probably realized that my dad would have drove down here and murdered Jake on the front porch for letting me jump like I did.

At that moment, Jacob came back and scooped me into his arms. He moved as quick as he could down the hallway and into the bathroom. The hot steam hit me, and I moaned in pleasure. Jake's arms tightened around me. "Not now, Ness. I can't handle that right now." I was so cold and my brain so fuzzy that I didn't take the time to figure out what he meant.

I got set on my feet, and before I had time to register what Jake was doing, he had tossed the blanket aside, unclipped my bra and slid my panties down my legs. Then I was in his arms again for a brief moment before my body was submerged in deliciously hot water. I moaned again, and the feeling began to come back to my body.

I laid there while Jake left the room to grab some of his old clothes from my drawer in his dresser. I expected him to leave again, seeing as I was naked in the tub, but he sat down next it instead. I narrowed my eyes at him, and he simply shook his head. I decided not to press the issue.

"Thanks."

He nodded, but didn't say anything until I reached over and poked him. "That was the second heart attack I had today. I should've realized how cold you would be and taken you home the minute we hit the shore. Seth's apology could've waited. If I had been too late in warming you up…"

"You weren't. I'm okay." I ran my wet hand down his arm, and he shivered. It suddenly dawned on me that he had a warmer temperature, yes, but he was still wet. "You jumped in, too. You should warm yourself up."

He shook his head, but his body trembled slightly. "I'm okay. I'm not leaving you."

"Jake." I gave him a pointed look which he returned.

"What do you want me to do?" He sighed in exasperation. I took in his wet hair and skin. His shorts were dry, and he would probably be okay. I was just worried that he would get a cold. "At least dry yourself off."

Instead of saying anything, Jake just looked at me. Then his eyes drifted lower, down my neck and shoulders towards the rest of my body. I started to feel a little shy but quickly shut it down because it wasn't the first time Jake had ever seen me naked. Besides, I knew he wouldn't do anything. After what felt like forever, Jake shook his head and stood up. He pulled me up. It was then I realized that the bath water was cold.

I felt a towel wrap around me and Jake said, "Put those clothes on and come to my room when you're ready." With that he left.

I sighed, and quickly got dressed. I went into Jake's room to find him lounging on the bed, taking deep breaths. "Jake?"

He looked over at me. His eyes roamed my now clothed body, and he took what I assumed was a sigh of relief. He pressed his back to the wall, and motioned for me to come over. "I figured you're probably as tired as I am after last night and today. Nap before dinner?"

I nodded and climbed into bed next to him where we both fell asleep quickly.

* * *

I awoke to a banging that came from the direction of the kitchen. My face was pressed into Jake's chest, and Jake's arms were holding me so close that all I could do was rotate my head. The clock next to Jake's bed read 11:23 PM. Well, so much for dinner. I looked at Jacob who seemed to be sleeping perfectly peacefully.

Then the scent hit me.

Vampire.

My _mom_.

Oh shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

I tried to pull away from Jake before she came crashing into the room, but Jake's hold was too tight. The door slammed open, no doubt making a crack in the wall. After that, everything happened too quickly.

My mom growled at the position Jake and I were in just as Jake jerked awake. He threw me against the wall and shielded me with his body while reaching for something in the drawer next to his bed. I could see my mom stalking toward us, saying something. No doubt it was something to the effect of "Get the hell away from my daughter" but I couldn't hear her. I was focused on Jake.

The rate of his breathing and the way his eyes were unfocused told me he wasn't fully aware of his surroundings. He was reverting back to that time spent overseas. He wasn't seeing my mom, wasn't seeing that she was only a threat to his manhood. He was seeing some kind of terrorist of insurgent. All he was thinking about was protecting me. Then I saw the gun that he pulled out of the drawer.

"Jake! Stop!"

Finally, my mom had begun to recognize that something was horribly wrong. She was halted in the middle of the room. I grabbed the arm that held the gun, and pulled back before he could fire at my mom. If he did, I knew he wouldn't miss, and because my mom is a vampire, it would bounce off and risk hitting him or me. His arm broke free, and I reached in front of him to try to get the gun.

Then he fired.

I yanked my hand back and stared at the blood that began to spill from the wound. The smell of my blood must've woken Jake because he dropped the gun and flipped to me. My mom bolted from the room to stop herself from doing something she'd regret.

"Ness. Oh, Jesus. Oh, fuck." Jake began to shake, and I could tell his emotions were slipping from his control which meant his wolf was too. My hand burned, but I could feel it healing. I licked up the blood around the wound. It had a metallic, gun powder tang to it. Then I grabbed Jake's head.

"Shhh. Calm down. It's okay. I'm okay. See?" I held up my hand which had no wound anymore. His eyes searched my hand before he took a shaky breath. "Jake, you need to calm down before you go wolf, or else we'll both get hurt more." He nodded and kept taking deep breaths. I looked into his beautiful brown eyes. "Jake, right now I need to go talk to my mom. You need to stay here, okay? Then we'll talk about what happened, but until then do not beat yourself up about this. It was an accident."

With that, I got up and went into the living room where my mom was pacing. She rushed over when she saw me and grabbed my hand to inspect it. When she saw that I was fine, she pulled me into a cold, hard hug.

When she pulled away, her eyes were as icy as her skin. "You're not together? Is that why you were in bed with him? Wearing his clothes?" She gestured to my person.

"We fell asleep, Mom. I went cliff diving because I was being stupid and didn't think about how cold it was." I waved my hands around as I talked. "I almost froze to death, and Jake brought me back here. He took care of me. Gave me dry clothes. We aren't a thing, okay?"

My mom's eyes had widened as I told her about the cliff diving, but she didn't ask if I was okay. Instead she said, "I don't believe that you don't want to be with him, Renesmee."

I said nothing.

She took a step closer and grabbed my hands in hers. "What I don't understand, honey, is why you're willing to go back to him." She tilted my head up, forcing my eyes to meet hers. "He broke your heart."

"I know."

"So why? Why would you go back to him even as a friend? You forget that he was my best friend, too, but after I got that phone call from you, I- You sounded so broken as you sobbed on the phone. Do you remember you had to come to Alaska for a few weeks and you didn't get out of bed? He hurt you that badly." I shrugged but didn't answer.

I transferred a single thought to her. _He's my best friend. It's always been him and only him. I needed my best friend._

She nodded sympathetically. "I just don't want to see you give him another chance, and give everything you have to someone who could hurt you so badly." My mom said it really low. I knew even Jake in the next room couldn't hear.

"Too late."

"What?"

"I already gave him everything, Mom, so you don't need to worry about that."

She smiled sadly and stroked my hair. She was still about 5 inches taller than me. I'd always be her "little" girl. "I know how much you love him, but you didn't give him everything."

Oh, boy. She was in denial. I sighed and decided to just fess up to it. "Mom, I'm not a virgin." My mom pursed her lips, and leaned away from me.

"Oh, Ness, noooo." Jake's voice sounded from behind me just as the front door flew open and the cavalry came sweeping in.

3 very angry looking vegetarian male vampires stood on the threshold and had eyes for only Jake.

Well, fuck. This night couldn't get any worse.


	19. Chapter 18: His Imprint

Chapter 18: His Imprint

Nobody moved for a solid ten seconds which, granted, wasn't a very long time in the grand scheme of things, but when you're watching your father and uncles for any sign that they're going to attack your ex-boyfriend, it feels like a millennia. With narrowed eyes Jasper, Emmett, and my father glanced briefly my way then to Jacob. Their eyes promised a long conversation for me later and pain for Jacob now. I took them by surprise as I flashed over to stand directly in front of Jacob. I opened my mouth to try to talk them down; however, Jacob lightly put his hand on my waist and pushed me to the side.

He stepped forward and said, "Can we do this outside? I'd rather you didn't destroy my father's house in the process of killing me." My father gave him a brief nod before they all silently filed out. Jacob stood tall as he followed behind.

I couldn't understand why Jacob would go willingly. It's not like he had done anything wrong. I took off after them, but before I reached the door, my mother's cold, hard arms wrapped around me, preventing me from leaving. "Let them work it out, sweetie."

"Um, how about heeell no?!" I gave her an incredulous look. "You should be against them murdering Jake as much as I am. You might be upset about the whole sex thing, but you and I both know it doesn't warrant murder."

She simply shook her head slowly. "They're not going to kill him, Renesmee." I flinched at the sound of my given name.

"Maybe not, but they'll hurt him."

She let me go. "He'll heal. You have to realize how difficult accepting you're a woman now is for them, and they never expected you to… become intimate with a man before marriage. Part of the deal we made with Jake when you were born was that you guys would wait until marriage to have sex, and he broke his promise. Your father and uncles are simply punishing him for that."

I narrowed my eyes. "What deal, Mom? Why would you make a deal with him about waiting for marriage when _I_ didn't know if we would get married? Wait, did you say you made the deal with him when I was _born_?" Her eyes widened, but she didn't speak. I took a step forward. "And earlier you said something about you not caring if he had a claim on me…" Realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

Jacob had gotten furious at the bonfire when Claire had mentioned James. He had said he had a claim on me and was about to call me _his_ something. I had thought he was headed towards _girlfriend._ However, today my mom had mentioned the same claim except she knew he had no claim on me as a girlfriend. That meant he wasn't about to say his girlfriend, but something else. Something else that explained how Jacob could always know when I was physically hurt and why he was so tuned in to my feelings. It explained why he still loved me so deeply and gave me whatever I wanted. It also explained why my parents would have made a deal with him about waiting for marriage. The deal would have been made if they had known the likelihood of us getting married. I had been so blind to it because I had never dreamed that my family, that _Jacob_ , could keep something like this from me.

I am Jacob's imprint.

My mom must've seen something in my face that led her to approach me like one would a frightened animal. "Sweetheart. We should talk about this."

With a dead sort of tone, I replied, "You've had 18 years to talk to me about it."

"I know, but we- your father and Jacob included- wanted-"

"I don't care what any of you wanted!" I shouted, suddenly furious. My voice became tiny as the wave of emotions coursing through me took a turn towards hurt. "What about what I deserved to know?"

My mom took a step forward, but I took a bigger step back. As I glanced once more at her, I could see the helplessness in her eyes. Then, I turned around and left.

I didn't run. I didn't tear through the trees of the forest as I normally would when I would become upset with my parents. I walked slowly to the garage to get my car. Wisely my mom, didn't follow.

The garage was already open since Jacob had retrieved his motorcycle earlier. As I opened my car door, I looked up to where a russet wolf stood, a short distance away from the males of my family. Tears began to well in my eyes, so I quickly got into my car and drove off.

I could hear Jacob howling even after I had made it back to campus.


End file.
